Ed Goldman

I write a thrice-weekly column called The Goldman State ( My new book is "Don't Cry For Me, Ardent Reader" (

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

If inflation has you down (or bloated) think of my column as your temperament Tums: https://t.co/hXkSbr59Ib

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

@sacbee_news No, but their parents are blithering idiots.

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

@sacbee_news Are you sure your name shouldn't be spelled Twitt? And thank you for your sacrifice. Please continue to make that sacrifice and not perform again.

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

Pray for Mitch McConnell’s health. If anything were to happen to him, Trump would be President.

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

Flying taxis with wingspans almost equal to those of pterodactyls? A re-boot of “Game of Thrones?” “Jurassic Park-and-Ride?” We explore it in detail in today’s episode of THE GOLDMAN STATE, my free, thrice-weekly column): https://t.co/I1tugqQQE5

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

01/06/20:
Have you ever been trapped, and I mean TRAPPED, in an IKEA store? Don’t blame yourself. Its interior wayfinding system was created by Satan: Learn more at THE GOLDMAN STATE, my free, thrice-weekly column): https://t.co/I1tugqQQE5

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

Because Gary died months ago.

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

Unless there’s another Gary Pruner other than the wonderful Northern California artist whose works are in my collection, Facebook has him endorsing a cat litter product. Obviously without his consent. Nauseating.

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

Happy New Year! How’d you spend your Golden 1 $20 million gift, which comes to about $8 a customer? ¡Livin’ la vida loca! Learn more at THE GOLDMAN STATE, my free, thrice-weekly column): https://t.co/I1tugqQQE5

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

Shouldn’t today be something like New Year’s Eve EVE? In my culture, major holidays begin at sunset—meaning the night before that is the eve of the eve. I sort it out in today’s installment of THE GOLDMAN STATE, my free, thrice-weekly column): https://t.co/I1tugqQQE5

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

Hi, Rudy. You're a despicable asshole. But I repeat myself.

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

12/27/19:
Is the man’s business suit dying an unnatural death? Are there palliative measures to consider? I discuss it in my column THE GOLDMAN STATE Friday. Drop by or subscribe (it’s free): https://t.co/I1tugqQQE5

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

I offer some last-minute Christmas gift ideas on Monday. Major surgery gift cards, anyone?https://t.co/I1tugqQQE5

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

What happens when “All in the Family” isn’t a TV show but your daily business? Check out my thoughts on it at:
https://t.co/vocqo2nZJf

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

I take on tardiness today in my new California column The Goldman State (to get a free subscription, please head to https://t.co/ECzYdrGJCi). The basic idea is that I $&!?+#%}ing hate it. I have a feeling I’m not alone.

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

California Supreme Court Asked to Decide Whether Dynamex Is Retroactive https://t.co/R6uJCCsjkT

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

If Starbucks Tsar Howard Schultz runs for and is elected president, we’ll have one who stays awake during briefings.

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

@eleebeck Dear Cranky: From the Bee: Mar 19, 2018 ... "The 37-year-old Sacramento man filed a federal lawsuit last week against Pabst Brewing Co..."

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

@GillKvs Is this how to do it?

[Ed Goldman @GoldmanEd]

What a spontaneous move for Mike Pence! He arrived in a limo and left in a huff. I mean, imagine if that had been planned....