Goldman Sacks

Hold the sack. Collect SPYx

[Goldman Sacks @GoldmanSacksVIP]

Our branding agency has been sacked.

We’re keeping the logo.

$SACKS

[Goldman Sacks @GoldmanSacksVIP]

Goldman Sacks is hiring.
No qualifications required.

A firm grip is essential.

[Goldman Sacks @GoldmanSacksVIP]

Goldman Sacks is open

Hold the sack.

Collect SPYx.
Try to act professional.

$SACKS
CA: 4uzG8GUJhf7UK8p2sQWmBaahoUeeSwhitbTfgAq1kpNn

[Goldman Sacks @GoldmanSacksVIP]

Goldman Sacks Research has completed its prelaunch assessment.

Two assets.

Considerable weight.

Massive BALL aura.

Please find our holdings attached.

[Goldman Sacks @GoldmanSacksVIP]

Goldman Sacks began with two assets and a very serious font.

The founders brought their sacks to Wall Street. The sacks were too large to fit through the door. Operations have continued outside ever since.

The research department produced a 700-page annual report. Every page says the same thing: still holding.

The board meets whenever someone asks whether the sacks are getting lighter. So far, the board has elected to hang in there.