Gordon Kelly

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

@Jacob_Rees_Mogg Shut up you nonce

[ᴾᴬᵁᴸᴰᴼᶜᴷ ˣ @PaulDock93]

Shocked how many people needed actual stories & examples of James Corden being rude to dislike him
I’ve been hating him for years on vibes alone x

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

I swear to god I must follow that Mogg prick on twitter just because I like being angry. Fuck the tories.

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

Fucking self isolation, somebody bring me a subway

[Hugh Brechin @HughRBrechin]

Who is Sauron? The downfall of a passionate jeweller

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

Who doesn’t want to spend their Hogmanay self isolating???

[The Darkest Timeline Numbersmuncher @NumbersMuncher]

33 years ago today, the nation was rocked by the deadly terrorist plot unfolding at Nakatomi Plaza.

Thanks to the bravery of Officer John McClane and Sergeant Al Powell, the terrorists were stopped and we celebrate their story and friendship every Christmas.

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

How can anybody dislike a Bloody Mary, it’s just cold tomato soup that gets you drunk

[Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy]

Tim Martin takes a shit in his lasagna. Tim Martin eats his lasagna. Tim Martin asks: “who took a shit in my lasagna?”

[Rachael Swindon @Rachael_Swindon]

Why don’t we spend £200 billion on social care and have a ‘Trident in Need’ night in November?

If the British people want nuclear weapons they won’t mind finding an extra fiver a week.

[Tom French @tomfrench85]

"The Prime Minister must explain to families in Scotland why they are being hit with another Tory poll tax"

SNP Westminster Leader @Ianblackford_MP challenged Boris Johnson's regressive tax hike that will hit Scottish families, the low paid and young hardest #ToryTaxHike

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

NOPE

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

James Corden is an irritating cunt

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

#thoughtoftheday somebody needs to open up a Star Wars themed burrito van and call it Admiral’s Snackbar.

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

Sure do love having a dodgy phone screen which likes every single thing on Instagram every time I open a page. Definitely isn’t 100% awkward

[Gregor G @grogzzz]

Commiserations England...at least at the end of the day you can say you never acted like total smug basta...oh wait never mind.

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

Fell asleep absolutely hammered, sitting upright, fully clothed with a full can of tennents in my hand that I managed to not spill. Excellent

[Gordon Kelly @GordyK]

Is it okay to get a Pitbull puppy and name it Mr Worldwide? Asking for a friend