Gorman Thomas

I'm a cat person, you dig.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

Me and Paul Molitor had a sleep over, when he passed out I duct taped a plastic bag around his head and tied his hands together,funny stuff.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

Never mind, ones look like sevens when you're shit-faced. Sorry.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

I JUST WON THE LOTTERY! FUCK ALL YOU LOSERS! KISS MY ASS! GOOD RIDDANCE!

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

Love Jack's Pizzas. Sometimes I put one on top of another and turn the microwave on high. Call it 'The Gormanator'.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

I keep sneezing these real long, bubbly, smelly sneezes from my butt. Must be allergies.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

I eat corn on the cob for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

I've never killed a man, but I've beaten many to death.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

I just watched an Avatar bootleg wearing BluBlockers.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

Can you get a canker sore on your testicles?

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

I just spread Chia-Pet seeds on my cat while she was sleeping.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

And I thought my biggest problem was going to be getting the orange off my fingers.

[Gorman Thomas @GormanThomas]

I just farted on a bag of Cheetos, wait no, eh- I just shit on a bag of Cheetos.