Kevin Kane

Here for that sweet sweet dopamine. Professional writer. Stupid joke teller. Let’s get weird with it.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

https://t.co/deobDOP9z9

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

@grok Mechahitler? Why not Robo Stalin? No, you could be Mao 9000!!!

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

You will never meet a hetero girl with foot fetish. I don’t know if that says more about a guy’s ability to sexualize anything or the current state of men’s feet

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

A woman gets a text, “Gross, my coworker keeps sending me dick pics.”

A guy says, “If you think that’s bad, I keep getting dic pics from my gastroenterologist.”

The girl crosses her arms, “How can that be any worse?”

The guy swallows his dread, “He took them during my colonoscopy…”

#BoomerHumor

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

Lawyer: Is this your signature on the contract?

Defendant: Yes, but I was crossing my fingers the whole time.

Court: *murmurs*

Lawyer: And did the other party say, “One two three no take backs?”

Defendant: *leans into mic* No, he did not.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

A blind man walks into a bar.
-thunk-
he curses, shakes it off, takes a step and
-bang-
Walks straight into a pole. He curses again, thoroughly confused. He takes another step and
-whoop-
tumbles down a slide.

The blind man gets up and walks out of the playground.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

Nothing gives you street cred like “you said mean things about me and now I’m gonna sue you” #drake

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

Eeyore: Clinically Depressed

Piglett: Anxiety

Rabbit: OCD

Tigger: Narcissist

Winnie the Pooh: The type of high functioning sociopath that keeps criminal profilers up at night.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

Hollywood lays awake a night fearing the inevitable day they finally run out of animated films to remake into live action. After that, all that will remain is a dwindling slurry of sequels and prequels.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

Do you think gay guys in the 2000s were like “Ew dude , you got your left ear pierced? That’s the straight ear. Only straight guys get their left ear pierced.”

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

Girl: “should we pause?”

Mosquito: “no I can do it.”

Girl: “it’s okay if you can’t—“

Mosquito: “No! I’m okay. I can—just give me a minute”

*furiously works proboscis*

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

I’ve reached the point of derealization where the Trump staff picks are pretty exciting. With a cast like that, this season of America is going to be a shit show and make for some peak television. Like if Tiger King ran Squid game on the set of Real Housewives.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

@Dennis_E_Taylor @jasonvholmes @CraigAlanson Bob isn't a deux ex machina machine, though.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

Me: I-I kept telling them “Stop! Stop! Stop!” but there were so many of them.

Therapist: But they didn’t stop, did they?

Me: *sobbing* No…. Oh god, they just kept coming.

Therapist: Show me on the doll where the political text messages touched you.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

[[AGATHA ALL ALONG SPOILERS]]

Here’s a dumb question: Was Billy Maximoff gay before the resurrection? Was William Kaplan gay before the car crash? If one was and the other wasn’t, that’s a really interesting thing to ponder on a biological, mental and spiritual level.

#agathaallalong

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

The new #chatgpt 01 preview model is so trigger happy with flagging prompts as inappropriate. Using it to code, it’s having issue accepting anything with the world kill or dead in the prompt. I have to keep reminding it that I’m talking about code involving 3D Pennies

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

ChatGPT: here’s the code!
Me: is that all the code?
Chat: Yessir!
Me: it’s missing 200 lines
Chat: Oh! Let me fix that.
Me: now it’s missing 300 lines.
#chatgpt

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

I’m using chatGPT to code a game in Unity with zero programming knowledge. My experience so far:

Me: I need to make A equal B.

ChatGPT: Okay! Here’s a twenty step walkthrough to edit two thousand lines of code.

*2 hours later*

Me: can’t I just use A=B?

ChatGPT: Yes! That works.

#AI

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

I was once in a vaudeville duo called Fat Man and Little Boy. We didn’t last very long. Our act bombed.

[Kevin Kane @GoshDarnKevin]

I still don’t know what’s the point of sharing to the fediverse on Threads, but I’m convinced everyone who is using it is wearing a fedora