Goose Gossage (Parody)

Old school arm. New school hatred.
Closer mentality. Lawn chair analysis.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

Old school arm. New school hatred.

I distrust exit velocity.
I believe closers should glare.
I think WAR belongs overseas.

Mostly baseball.
Occasionally the collapse of civilization.

If that sounds unreasonable, you’re probably right.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@nut_history Only one I've ever seen do it better is Bugs Bunny

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@noah_kilborn20 @MLB

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@Gbemiga__A The worst thing about the World Cup is hearing soccer opinions from countries that have never beaten Alabama.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@adi_sports_guy @yoamomonstruos Europeans always explain soccer development as if Americans are unaware.

We know.

We simply chose to spend our resources teaching 14-year-olds how to throw a football 70 yards and hit a baseball 430 feet.
Not every nation can have its priorities straight.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@adi_sports_guy @yoamomonstruos Every soccer argument eventually becomes:

"Yes, America has more athletes, but what if those athletes had spent their entire lives playing soccer?"

Correct.

That is literally the argument.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@adi_sports_guy @yoamomonstruos Listen Noah,

The greatest soccer player ever is 5'8", 160.

That's not the argument you think it is.

That's the athletic equivalent of telling Texas high school coaches there's a professional league where they can dominate the world with the backup slot receiver.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@WorkElizab

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@WorkElizab Rick James

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@BBGreatMoments Can I have Bonds, Williams, and Ricky?

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@kiantrades Listen Jack,

Calling American soccer "horrific" is like criticizing a bald eagle for not being very good at swimming.

We have other responsibilities.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@amylcris Listen Melissa,

My grandfather paid for aviation school by mowing airfields, fighting a war, and striking oil with a shovel he found behind a feed store.

If the boy wants to be an aviation mechanic, tell him to start fixing lawnmowers, outboards, and small-block Chevys.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@FakeHannibal @Super70sSports Smoke 'em if ya got 'em

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@jakevanhofwegen @nut_history Listen Jack,

Josh Gibson once hit a ball so far the center fielder got drafted trying to track it down.

The game was delayed 3 weeks while they waited for him to return.
They didn't have TrackMan back then because the ball left the atmosphere.

Respect the pioneers.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@shegone03 @Reds His spreadsheet says he's right, and you're wrong.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@CapatanEl4662 Say what you will, but she was great in The Little Mermaid.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@ZachBaseball5 @Miller16Rob @shegone03 Nolan Ryan once hit 108 mph. The radar gun asked him to slow down for legal reasons.

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@shegone03 @Teacherman1986 @notgaetti @BobFile @twuench @billdubs @iamrags @artofhitting @hittingguru7 @slider_sinker @SliderDom @low_and_outside @TheRealJHair Pitcher throws like 50 cent🤣

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@shegone03 @notgaetti @BobFile @twuench @billdubs @iamrags @artofhitting @hittingguru7 @slider_sinker @SliderDom @low_and_outside

[Goose Gossage (Parody) @GossageGoose]

@nut_history Mantle