@freemanchari 65 centres in 4 days for 16 million people. Some of you may have to travel 100km. Some of you may not make it. Some of you will arrive and find the submission forms already completed. This is what we call 'democracy with limited seating.' ๐ฟ๐ผ
@NNyashaYessur On behalf of the govenrment, we would like to sincerely thank Zimbabweans for never uniting. Your divisions are our greatest natural resource. More valuable than lithium๐ฟ๐ผ
@daddyhope We would like to deny that we are distributing bicycles to secure support. The bicycles are for exercise. Zimbabwe is a health-conscious nation. The fact that they arrive with a ZANU-PF flag and a voting guide is purely coincidental๐ฟ๐ผ
@CrimeWatchZW We are pleased to confirm that democracy in Mhondoro Mubaira was successfully delivered in plastic bags. Turnout was excellent. The goods had nothing to do with it ๐ฟ๐ผ
๐ฟ๐ผ OFFICIAL STATEMENT:
We are pleased to announce that President Mnangagwa has graciously agreed to stay in power until 2030.
Elections are expensive anyway. Think of the savings.