First play I’m sending WR1 on a go. All that work all summer, go make a play. Safety helps, I don’t care. Go set the tone.
2nd and 10, play action, slip screen. Let the big guys out and space get their adrenaline going.
1st and 10, QB keep off the jet sweep. Go get 3 yards and prove your grit to the guys.
2nd and 7, run the ball straight up the gut.
3rd and 4, goal line set, same thing.
4th and 1. Timeout. Slap the gatorades out of every players’ hands. Tell them they got one shot to earn their Glacier Freeze or a threaten to dump every bucket.
Sub myself in at fullback. Meet the linebacker and knock him on his ahhh. First down for the running back behind me.
Timeout. Grab a Gatorade. Huddle up WR 1 and WR 2 to show them some Charlie Frye vs Marshall 2004 highlights. Show them what a Domenik Hixon toe tap on 4th and 10 in a cold November looks like. I ask WR 2 if he wants WR 1’s NIL.
Headset back on, first down at the 50. Hospital ball over the middle to WR 2. Targeting, 15 yard penalty. He’s got the toughness.
1st down at the 35. 9:43 to go in the first quarter. I stare at the sun, reminiscing of the old Rubber Bowl… then I remember a have to take a shiii. I use our third timeout. Coach is upset, but I tell him to have a Gatorade for me when I’m back.
I walk up past WR 2’s girl on my way to the locker room. I give a fake field pass that I forged on my phone the night prior in a McDonald’s parking lot. Tell her to go stand in the back right corner of the end zone.
Come back to the field. And we’re running it on 1st and 10. 2nd and 6, QB draw up the middle. 3rd and 2, we’re smashing it up the middle again.
In the red zone now. I’m telling the Robert Morris sideline they can’t stop us. Purposely take a delay of game. 3 runs with the big guys up the middle.
4th and 3 at 14 yard line. QB handoff to the HB with WR 1 receiving it on the end around (Ohio State vs Bama 2014 Sugar Bowl).
$30 NIL and a pack of skittles to WR 1 if he can hit WR 2’s girl by the corner of the end zone.
WR 2 explodes out of his break, sees the ball floating downward in his girl’s direction and lunges with every he’s got to extend to the ball and get his foot down as he contorts his body to shield his girl.
Touchdown. The fans go crazy. The band starts playing. We’ve secured a SportsCenter #1. LeBron tweets us out. We go viral on social media pages. The brand deals start flooding in. We secure enough NIL to develop and retain our roster. The path to 6 straight Zips National titles (which I achieved in CFB 26) is underway.
Coach trots out to congratulate me and ask for my headset.
I tell him to fetch me another Gatorade because we’re going for 2.
@stretch_htg
Thomas Massie announces that he is introducing legislation to immediately stop federal funding for Flock Cameras and any other mass surveillance cameras operating under a different name.
Massie compares Flock Cameras to the FISA program, calling them un-American and saying they are always abused by bad actors.
"We cannot be trading our freedom for a little false promise of security."
Vivek Ramaswamy is booed offstage after telling Ohio crowd, 'The truth of the matter is, people in my generation have already made it. We're gonna be fine.'
@SpeakerJohnson@Judy1732243 You could ban stock trading by U.S. Representatives tomorrow with a simple change to House rules. It wouldn’t even have to go through the Senate or be signed by the President.
Instead you put this political gimmick up for a vote which had a poison pill for Dems in it - Voter ID.