Mi amor (parody)

For legal reasons this is a parody account

[Jonathan Demme Dickrider @decoyrobot]

The Knicks winning every game except the one Trump was at is better lore than if they actually won every game

[GL @gldivittorio]

“We will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism” 🧡💙

[Jack Cocchiarella @JDCocchiarella]

We have to let Zohran run for president

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

Knicks watch parties canceled, extensive security checks, people waiting hours to get in the arena just for him to fall asleep watching the game 😭💀

[Mi amor (parody) @Gracyn98]

Every time I see a photo of him I’m surprised at how comically small his face is

[Jeremy Kaplowitz @jeremysmiles]

"would you live in a jail cell for 37 days to win $835,000" is like your average Mr Beast challenge

[Sibylle @AHaschi]

Guys,
We have a manifesto 😭

[ALUTHEDON @Mbakaza4L]

This is what a holocaust looks like.

[ALUTHEDON @Mbakaza4L]

DO NOT TURN A BLIND EYE TO THIS. HOLY SHIT.

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

It’s wild how clear it is which side is good and which is evil

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

this is gayer than having sex with a man

[Dj @DjsokeSpeaking]

Need this level of aggressive messaging all the way through November

[Chris Komatsu @chris_komatsu]

This is quite literally illegal to do at a voting location in Texas.

[Sandi Bachom 📹 @sandibachom]

Almost one million views "Tr*mp hit her when she bit his p*nis" RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES

[James Talarico @jamestalarico]

This is the interview Donald Trump didn’t want you to see.

His FCC refused to air my interview with Stephen Colbert.

Trump is worried we’re about to flip Texas.

[Spinosaurus @Sornaman2001]

If technoblade were alive we would have Zohran Mamdani on the dream smp,

[Brian 🇲🇽🇧🇷 @_Braizen]

Friendly reminder that on November 23rd, 2024, Jaxson Dart threw an interception vs Florida to seal the game, cried about it on the sideline, had the play overturned, then came back on the field with tears in his eyes to throw another one and cried some more

[onion person @CantEverDie]

jan 6 is going to be one of those events historians look back at in 100 years questioning how the hell absolutely no one was punished for this, and instead rewarded for it 10 times over