Grady Thoms

Author, camping gear salesmen, home school counselor, rowboat mechanic

[Boise State MBB @BroncoSportsMBB]

Happy Birthday, @pearsoncarm2024! 🎉

#BleedBlue x #UnbreakableCulture

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

I'm done eating at restaurants with the word "fusion" in their name. And I'm done eating at restaurants where I have to bus my own table. I just eliminated every restaurant in Portland.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

65% of my day is spent unsubscribing from emails.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

If a girl looked at all the apps I’ve downloaded, she’d think I was extremely active and healthy

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

Of all the bogus accolades people claim, my favorite has to be “internationally known.” All you have to do is take one selfie and have one Canadian know who you are and now you’re an “internationally known photographer”

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

“Room for Cream” would be a good name for an all black jazz band.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

@marcwallace13 Proper

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

When I see a couch on the curb with a free sign on it, I like to take that couch and put it in front of my own house. That way people in the area think I’m generous (and doing pretty well for myself cause I don’t need this couch).

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

If you want to know where all our money is going, just count the number of fire hydrants along the way to work.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

The name of a good cop drama where a couple of Miami detectives have to switch spots with their stay-at-home wives would be “Miami Vice Versa”

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

Just once I want to be spiraling into control.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

Interesting fact: 41% of people sitting on public park benches are crazy.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

I think that if it’s the last episode of a political thriller and the big twist is that the good guy is selling US secrets to the Russians, the producers should do something awesome and call that show “the treason finale”

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

Is it normal for a team to tank in the draft to insure they get the #1 pick the following year? Seems like a risky tactic. #browns #NFLDraft2018

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

People say kids grow up so fast. No, they don’t. They grow up really really really slowly. It takes years.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

Have you ever given a Valentine’s Day card without writing anything in it? It’s a little worse than giving no card at all. Even if it comes with a non-expirable back rub coupon.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

I imagine the angel Gabriel sounds exactly like Michael McDonald and no one can find any scripture that disputes this.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

A great way to get some clothes real cheap is to go to the dry cleaners, tell them you lost your slip and say your last name is Smith.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

Yelp should just be 1 or 5 stars, cause that’s all anyone ever gives.

[Grady Thoms @GradyThoms]

Maybe the reason the Balls went scoreless is that they’re trying to play baseball.