Grant

I hope you like bad boys because I'm bad at most things.

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

@thepog @AmesPolice That’s so people don’t leave their cars there 100% if the time (as it’s college so someone might go weeks without driving). You have to alternate your car every day; 9pm-midnight is the time you’re expected to change sides.

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

My bigger fear is that one day I’ll have eaten so much peanut butter that’ll it’ll taste bad

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Golf would be way more exciting if Tiger Woods was a location

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Sometimes I want to think that my dad’s into the times but then he says things like “did you know that in spanish two L’s don’t make an L sound” and it’s just getting hard you know

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Why are legos only ever based off of action movies you know if there was a “kevin spilling the chili” or “andy falling into a pit” legos they’d be sold out asap

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Does anyone else feel that their age is directly proportional with the frequency of backing into parking spots

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Me: “damn, I really gotta start saving money”
*buys dog a hawaiian shirt

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Let’s be real if a girl has their voicemail set up they’re probably out of my league

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

@BrotherWhite_ Almost always, yes

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Let’s be real the only time I favorite instagrams is when I’m trashed

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

I’m 95% certain that the way ima die is crushed under the mountain of poorly stacked tupperware teteering suspiciously in my cabinet

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

I really like to play this super fun game at work called “how far can I go in my professional career without ever making a phone call”

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

But realtalk how would you like to be the dude that got a pic with RDJ and then he blurred you out when he posted it

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Me: ya know, she hasn’t been destructive at all lately. Maybe I can give her free roam.
Tamale:

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

I’d say my biggest piece of advice for incoming freshmen is to pick a good “interesting fact about yourself” since you apparently have to recite it at every club meeting for the rest of your college career

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Today at work I was talking to my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss and money came up and he exclaimed “Well making more money won’t make you happy! I make a shitload of money and I’m not happy at all!” and like damn

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Really not lookin forward to 2019 when Bladerunner shit is supposed to go down apparently

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

I'd used my (now deactivated) student email for Twitter, and forgot my password for the last two years. But apparently Chrome didn't forget. Apparently Chrome never forgets.

[Grant @GrantApplecider]

Sorry, but I had to have a cheesy coliseum pic @ Colosseum, Rome, Italy (Coliseo, Roma, Italia) https://t.co/CADzUoQjNq