Michaela

smooth liquidation, good dividends

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

I used to do dr*gs and kiss strangers and now I’m texting everyone I know that the kombucha I’m making has a healthy yeast blob

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

I left my heart in Roku City 🥰

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Blessed with this haunting reminder that 5 years ago today I stopped to pick up cheese at a farm stand and saw a goat give birth

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

What if we kissed on the gently squirted on couch…

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Is it romantic if I have my boyfriend watch me participate in a dumpling eating contest on Valentine’s Day or grounds for divorce?

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Eating a well made soft pretzel with a variety of dipping sauces has done more for me that Lexapro and Wellbutrin ever has

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Sometimes a slut (me) can be wearing two turtlenecks at one time and that is beautiful

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Social media isn’t toxic if you only follow raccoons

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Nothing more devastating than opening up Instagram and finding out a girl I talked to once had to put down her lizard

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Selling my eggs cuz there’s a shortage

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Googling ~face yoga exercises~ while staring down at my phone like this to meet myself back in the middle

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

“A little something to take the edge off” -my mom cracking open a Diet Coke after 6 straight hours of puzzling

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Feeling emotional towards the FIT Just Salad

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

I love to make people guess which website I’m looking at whenever I’m on https://t.co/0y86QpaL14

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

I want the hippos at the Cincinnati Zoo to chomp on my head like a watermelon until I’m nothing but a memory

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Having a little treat to stave of TheDread™️ for nearly 6 minutes

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

The Goonies is a nickname for the crab rangoonies

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

@andyonti_ Sounds like someone has a dirty little past

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Fuck marry kill: ghost of Christmas past, ghost of Christmas present, ghost of Christmas future

[Michaela @Grav3yard_Smash]

Wait I thought the Tesla logo was an IUD