Greave

Death Metal Accountant

[Ch1rag.ś @Ch1ragjpg]

@nautfcb U’ll only pass it to me won’t u bruno ?

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Stateside, a gas station. I drank a frozen blue beverage too quickly, and was struck down by a punishment this entire nation knows, and accepts, and has named.

The drink is called a slush. Ice, sweetness, and a blue that does not occur in nature. The day was hot. I was thirsty. I drank like a soldier at a river.

The pain arrived in my skull like a war horn.

Behind the eyes. Above everything. Total. I gripped the roof of my car. I may have made a sound.

"Brain freeze," said the cashier through the door, with no urgency whatsoever.

It has a NAME. The affliction is so common it has a household name, like a cousin.

"Tongue on the roof of your mouth," called a man at the pumps. He did not look over. He prescribed the remedy mid-pump, casually, the way one mentions weather.

I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. The war horn faded. The healer nodded at his pump, finished, and was gone in a Chevrolet.

In my land, punishment follows crime by way of courts and seasons. Here, the sentence is instant. Drink with greed, and the ice strikes the mind directly. No trial. No appeal. Perfectly fair.

And here is what moves me. EVERYONE has felt it. The cashier. The healer. Children. Elders. An entire nation united by the same small lightning, all taught the same cure, all passing it on to strangers at gas stations, free of charge.

You cannot fully distrust a country once you know it shares one pain.

The freeze does not punish thirst. It punishes haste.

I finished the slush slowly, like a scholar. Blue tongue. Clear mind.

Then at the door I forgot everything, drank deeply, and was struck down again.

"Tongue, hon," said the cashier, without looking up.

Discipline is a journey.

[Steve Perkins @Perky_43]

Royal Mail driver couldn't be bothered to avoid nesting ducks on Fishpond Lane, Holbeach, Spalding - they decided to run them over instead.

This road is well known for ducks & has warning signs, the postie would know to be careful.

Pure ignorance.

Any comment @RoyalMail?

[David Squires @squires_david]

Here’s this week’s cartoon:

https://t.co/zXxZuf8UB8

[O’Shea Jackson Jr @OsheaJacksonJr]

I saw it. Now you have to see it. His name is Samuel. And he…is a king.

[The Inbetweeners Fans @InbetweenrsFans]

Every British PM as told by The Inbetweeners

[george @StokeyyG2]

Southampton’s Taylor Harwood-Bellis doing a binoculars celebration to Middlesbrough’s Aidan Morris in the playoff second leg…

Imagine they get kicked out now 🤣🤣🤣

[Brighton & Hove Albion @OfficialBHAFC]

Get him on the plane. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[Billie @Billie_T]

Sloppenham Slopspur

[Mukhtar @I_amMukhtar]

Piers Morgan asked Russell Brand which passages were relevant to him when he brought a Bible into court.

[York City F(C) @YorkCityFC]

This Saturday’s game brings an end to one of the most thrilling, exciting and unpredictable title races in football history. Both ourselves and Rochdale have the chance to write our names in National League history.

The National League is no longer a non-league competition. It is effectively a League 3, with fully professional clubs operating at a level equal to or higher than many of those in League 2.

We both understand how important this game is to both clubs and supporters. We both pledge now that whatever happens tomorrow, we will both continue to fight for 3UP.

Both clubs sit on over 100 points. One of us will have to fight once more in the National League Play-Offs. However, we both strongly believe that this shouldn’t have to be the case.

We call on the National League, Football Regulator, EFL and Premier League to come together immediately and resolve this issue, so that we do not have to highlight this injustice year after year.

For both sets of supporters attending the Crown Oil Arena this weekend, we say thank you for being with us all season. The passion you’ve shown for both clubs has been felt across the world. This game will be seen far and wide. We want to showcase this league for all its potential. Keep your support in the stands, not on the pitch, and let’s all protect the game we love.

Thank you!

Rochdale AFC & York City FC

#YCFC🔴🔵

[Brighton & Hove Albion @OfficialBHAFC]

This angle of those scenes... 😍

[Squawka @Squawka]

Since the start of the 2022/23 season, Brighton have had 59 Premier League goals scored by players aged 21 or younger.

At least 20 more than any other side (Arsenal next on 39). 👏

[Greave @Greave17]

@DeadlineDayLive Outstanding player. Not sure the AI that made this picture has ever seen what he looks like though

[Andy Ha @AndyHa_]

Celebrating a winner in front of the away end after being called a feathered wanker all game.

[Formula 1 @F1]

Kimi Antonelli secures the @pirellisport Pole Position Lap in Japan! 😮‍💨

Let's ride onboard with the Mercedes driver for his lap of the iconic Suzuka 🤩👇

#F1 #JapaneseGP

[Greave @Greave17]

@HurzelersHat Knockaert 101%

[Ned @NH200003]

🥹🥹🥹🥹

https://t.co/NLxYsVDdNU

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

He electrocuted the whole neighbourhood with his strike 😭

[Peter Hayes @AtPeterHayes]

@F1