Ashes🌿🌸✨

They do not need to deceive humans. Humans will deceive themselves.

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

My instructor after I dropped out of a trick instead of pulling up and out: “why did u do that?”
Me: “it HURTS”
Her: 😒

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Me: what if I fall?

Aerial instructor: don’t

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Aunt Lucinda: don’t tell anyone

Jared: *tells everyone he knows*

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Someone go to Europe with me next month to see Florence and the machine at one of the music festivals 😭❤️

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

When your PCP randomly stops accepting your insurance and no one tells u and now u owe over $1,000 for a pap.

[Steve Perrault @Steve_Perrault]

One of the funniest slo-mo’s of all time

[tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵ @caranthirs]

how can you not love fantasy it’s a genre where authors design entire universes so their kinks will happen. they’re always on some shit like “well, it’s just the culture of twinkland for nubile young he/him maidens to lose their virginity in a public festival what can i say”

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Force Awakens Kylo was so unhinged and I love that.

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

At school meeting classmate to get stuff for graduation.
Me: I’m by the gym
Classmate: gym??
Me: lol by the cafeteria
classmate: there’s a cafeteria???

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Well everyone I barely tapped my helix piercing while pushing hair behind my ear. Please pray for me.

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

“Why is that so relatable?”
“It’s the trauma”
😂😭😂 @arielbooty_

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Everyone: hahaha omg look at all these weird weather changes so strange. Who could have predicted such abnormal changes to the climate??
Scientists:

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Me having a mental breakdown
My mom: maybe you just need to get married and have kids 🤷🏼‍♀️
🤦🏽‍♀️

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Not my Fitbit congratulating me on all the steps I just did and all I was doing was putting lotion on my hands 💀

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

@sammyrackham Happy birthday! That’s crazy I’m gonna be 29 on the 29th! Lol

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Nothing irks me more than going to the break room and going to grab a snack and the package was left open. Like. If you take one, close the dang package after 🙄

[Ashes🌿🌸✨ @GreenbriarRose]

Me preparing to go to Trader Joe’s by wearing plain clothing so they won’t talk to me
*accidentally puts on No Face beanie*
Cashier: oh I like ur beanie do u like studio ghibli movies my…
Other worker comes up: oh I like ur beanie r u a Miyazaki fan? What’s ur favorite? …
💀