Greg Austin

My name is Greg Austin, and I fight crime. #GregAustin

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

@Jhuff_12 ...to women

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

If I had a dollar for every time I lost my wallet... I would have one dollar because I just lost my wallet.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

I think it would be way cooler if the word "acronym" were actually an acronym for something.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

Doing half of a backflip is surprisingly not even half as cool as doing an actual backflip.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

I always thought R. Kelly's follow up to "I Believe I Can Fly" was gonna be "R&B Singer Plummets to Death After Not Understanding Metaphors"

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

No matter what limb someone gets amputated, they become way worse at standing ovations.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

Tour de Stad ✔️

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

Happy June! Make it sensational!

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

At WKU, taking the White Line bus gets you to south campus. In real life, taking the white line can also end up with you on south campus.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

Bo Ryan looks like Emperor Palpatine.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

"Easier said than done" is always true unless you have a speech impediment.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

Tom Brady has just transcended humanity!

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

I wish they would put a passenger in the car with McConaughey who just tries to turn the radio on to avoid all the weird small talk.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

@James_Kenney28 starting at quarterback for the Titans today.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

My pencil broke in class today. I tried to keep taking notes but then I realized...there was no point.

[Erik Miller @ErikMiller3]

Antonio Brown set to star in Karate Kid 4 - https://t.co/rHkDvBHEHW

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

Thank you Planters for giving us life lessons thinly veiled as choking warnings.

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

Happy September everyone!!

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

The only advantage of having two first names. #twicethecoke

[Greg Austin @GregAustin93]

With the first overall pick in the 2014 crew draft, the anti crew selects Greg Austin... And none of his friends. #aintdatsomeboo @BMilby1