Greg Heffley

Not a parody account, fully affiliated with the Diary of a Wimpy Kid ™️ brand!

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Mom made Rodrick put the Christmas lights on the house this year. Let’s just say I may have played a role in his hospitalization today. #preyforgreg

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Shout out holly for licking my spickle pick #weirdwhitestuff

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Shoutout Rodrick for stealing my phone back from my bitch ass dad @FrankHeffley11 . Thank the lord he didnt check my search history #almostcaught #rodrickrules #HRH

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Guess what i just got my dick wet by Holly fricken Hills.
#gregsnotavirgin

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Cant play my favorite game that Frank bought me, Modern Warfare @Activision WTF

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Today is the first day of summer and I have already seen Franks dick more than Ive seen mine.

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Me and my friends like to get naked and run around the locker room slapping each others asses during PE. Frank was not to happy when he found out>

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

get me to 800 followers and ill expose Rodrick's deepest darkest secret

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

@Spongeboob_irl umm big fan

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Umm don't know if I should be worried, Susan found my "toys".

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Who should I ask to the school dance?

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

So as you know my best friend Rowley, he recently came out as trans. Should I ask for nudes?

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

OMG I saw Manny's dick for the first time, ill catch up hopefully.

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

So fucking Frank thought it would be funny to have me and
Rodrick hang out together. Turns out Rodrick is gay and tried to seduce me.

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Today I found my future girlfriend Holly Hills has aids. Time to go get checked since I busted a nut to a photo of her so I must have aids as well.

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

So today I caught Frank putting hot dogs up his ass hole. Little did I know he ended up grilling them for dinner.

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Just ate Mannys ass while he was taking a nap. Turns out he had chronic diarrhea and splattered shit juice all over my mouth. Kind of ashamed that I enjoyed it 🤭

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Well I got rejected at school today by the beautiful Holly Hills. She called me Fregly that’s not even my name, fucking whore I’m going to go beat my meat until my dick bleeds. Thx a lot Holly.

[Frank Heffley @FrankHeffley11]

Some ginger Afro Jew beat up my kid at school after smoking a shit ton of meth. Absolutely disgusting

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

Thank god it’s Friday now I can actually play video games in peace and not have to listen to Frank beating one out for like 3 hours since Susan is finally home.

[Greg Heffley @GregHeffley09]

So today we had a snow day the funny thing is it wasn’t even snowing. Me my bois shredded a bunch of little kids pillows all over the city. May or may not have killed a family of badgers.