captain facetious

My opinion is worth what you paid for it; reunited with my motherland Texas forever!

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@Old_SchoolEddie Cell phone

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@JLazySAngus #blameitonthehereford

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@Lifeinvestmoney Ok that was 2 words

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@Lifeinvestmoney Poor decisions

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@mydogisfart @kim_nebraska @POTUS @realDonaldTrump Yes, the kind that eats every day and dies without notice.

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@brianeharrison If you're going to keep whining about it, maybe you should see what the same property would cost you in Nebraska.

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@Nebsandhills Overachiever

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@CBKimbrell I think there's something in the water in DC that makes them all crazy

[Gunther Eagleman™ @GuntherEagleman]

The Senate will find 70 votes to send your money to Ukraine to be looted.

They can’t find 51 to pass election integrity laws here.

That’s not dysfunction.

That’s corruption.

[Tyrone Powers 🇺🇸⚓️ @UNATCOHillaryPC]

Just found out you can turn off Amber alerts. Oh my goodness. I have finally muted Hispanic custody disputes forever

[Chris Martz @ChrisMartzWX]

In October 2024,@BillNye told MSNBC viewers that if Americans voted for Kamala Harris, we could stop destructive hurricanes like Helene and Milton from forming in the North Atlantic by stopping climate change.

Funnily enough, Trump won the election and last year was the first time in a decade that no hurricanes made landfall in the U.S. despite La Niña conditions. This year, none have hit the mainland and in fact, there have been no hurricanes at all in the Atlantic up to this point, the first time since at least 1941, largely thanks to Saharan dust and El Niño-induced wind shear.

[Ace Makes Cents @AceMakesCents]

My neighbor finished paying off her house in 2024.

She bought it in 1994 for $78,000. Thirty years of payments at $593 a month.

She's 74 now. Social Security pays her $1,910 a month. That's $22,920 a year.

The place two doors down sold for $615,000 last spring, so the county reassessed hers to match.

Her tax bill this year: $8,100. That's $675 a month.

She paid $593 a month to buy the house.

She pays $675 a month to keep it.

Thirty years of payments ended and the bill went up.

The deed says she owns it. The county bills her like she's renting.

[Hillbilly @JamesHu27192912]

I support a mosque being built anywhere in the US. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.
To promote tolerance, I would also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, The Turban Cowboy and the other, a topless bar, would be called You Mecca Me Hot.
Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and across the street, an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called Iraq of Ribs.
We could also have a lingerie store called Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret and a liquor store called Mohammered.
All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.
Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on. 😎 I did my part 😉or we can just send them back to where ever they came from.....

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@CBKimbrell You've got your work cut out for you.

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@RealitySalesman Best laugh I've had all day. Thank you!

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

Hmmm?

[Melissa Redpill @MelissaRedpill]

Anybody here think Howard Lutnick is that lucky?

Or do you think President Trump is exposing him before all the world for the evil despicable excuse of a man that he is?

President Trump sure likes to remind Howard Lutnick how conveniently lucky that he wasn’t there during 9/11

“He was always there at 6am in the morning… his wife was screaming at him, you never take our child to school. After 4 years (on that day) he said I’ll take him to school.”

[Remigration Station @TotalRemigrate]

First they came for the Mexicans, and my neighborhood spoke English again, so I celebrated

Then they came for the Indians, and I got my job and my house back, so I celebrated.

Then they came for the Muslims, and my daughter stopped being r*ped, so I celebrated.

Then they came for the Africans, and I could walk the streets safely again, so I celebrated.

They never came for me, and I lived Happily Ever After.

[Degenerative Agriculture Advisor @PlsntVlyFarmer]

Totally get it.

Just not that many people I have much in common with, these days.

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@mrssmith2018 @ScottPresler If you think legal weed is good for your state, take a look at what it's done for Colorado.

[captain facetious @Gregasa2]

@ThrillaRilla369 71 ford bronco with a 3 on the tree