Greg Donohue

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

The cult I used to work for still shows up as suggested posts. How many times do I have to hit “don’t show me again” before twitter realizes I’m not interested? Girl byyyye 👋🏼

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

The scary part about being an adult is, you can make an entire batch of cookies, eat all of them, and not one person will stop you.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

@cole_willard14 Denial is the first step to relapse, it’s not looking good for you.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

Glad I healed from my most recent heartbreak just in time for @taylorswift13’s new album to come out.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

My unhealthy coping mechanisms are buying a new outfit from @lululemon just to ✨feel✨ something. All because I’ve been sad.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

@Venmo Greg-Donohue 🌮🌮🌮

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

Was told “maybe soon someone will love you like your dog loves you.” Is that supposed to give me hope?

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

@Venmo has me out here acting a fool.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

Was told “I looked bloated” and “you should go for a run after this workout” and also, “lay off the carbs” by my trainer today. How’s your day going?

[Venmo @Venmo]

We’re giving out $20,000 today. RT this with your Venmo handle for a chance to win $250. #VenmoMe

Must follow @Venmo. No purch nec. Ends 8/19. US only, 18+. Venmo acct req’d. Rules: https://t.co/g4KLdG1U1l

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

I’m sitting in between these two couples at the bar that are constantly one upping each other. This is the entertainment I live for.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

Who the hell eats Keto ice cream on purpose? I accidentally bought some and this shit is like powder.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

When I have my mask below my nose running on the treadmill, I’m scared people are going to think I’m a republican. In reality, I’m just trying to breathe.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

My Uber driver was the biggest conspiracy theorist and let me tell you! I heard it all. I even saw it all via the YouTube videos he played for me. Next time I’m going to walk home.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

I want to know who’s idea it was to sell shower curtains in 3 separate pieces. Cause whoever it was, is an idiot.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but, please stop hiking in jeans. I feel bad for your ass. Literally.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

This lady at Starbucks says “here’s your little cup of happy” every time. That’s the type of energy I need.

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

Why is everyone talking about chicken nuggets? Did I miss a good deal?

[Greg Donohue @GregoryKD]

How can work expect me to be productive when it’s cold and rainy and all I want to do is lay in bed? How unrealistic.