still nobody

I’m prettier than a butterfly fart

[still nobody @GreySomething]

@FoodPornPhotos Edward

[still nobody @GreySomething]

If trampoline rooms were standard in houses, people would get a lot more jumping done

[still nobody @GreySomething]

Perfect day for fried eggs, toast, and Ella Fitzgerald

[still nobody @GreySomething]

Dear diary, today I got to tell my mom what milf stands for

[still nobody @GreySomething]

She’s making fun of the way I say Chumbawumba, and I don’t know how to respond to that…

[still nobody @GreySomething]

Really limiting my options here…

[still nobody @GreySomething]

@Napkin_Ads That looks great, except none of those sauces looks like fry sauce.

https://t.co/nYy9CEYASI

[still nobody @GreySomething]

You ever just randomly start talking like a muppet?
I do.

[still nobody @GreySomething]

I made a stupid Stranger Things / King of the Hill comic

[still nobody @GreySomething]

I always don a crown before I exit the ladies room

[still nobody @GreySomething]

Really feelin like this R2 unit today

[still nobody @GreySomething]

@TR3YDANIEL @WaffleHouse This could be tricky in some of the western states, but you have my full support!

[TREY @TR3YDANIEL]

My first act as president would be infrastructure based

There’s shouldn’t be anywhere in America where you can’t drive to a @WaffleHouse within 30 minute.

I’m eligibility to run in 2032

[still nobody @GreySomething]

“There’s the Italian who’s grandma made the thing that you drank!”

It was a good drink…

[still nobody @GreySomething]

Me: Alexa, play Men Without Hats
Alexa: I couldn’t find what you asked for. Playing songs by Doja Cat
Me: 🤨 Alexa, play Men With Hats
Alexa: Playing songs by Men Without Hats
Me: 😵‍💫

[still nobody @GreySomething]

“It is up to you to keep your potatoes out of my pig”
-Charles Griffin

[still nobody @GreySomething]

Me: Raccoons aren’t rodents!
Her: No, they’re doggies!

[still nobody @GreySomething]

A dopelgänger is like a doppelgänger, just stupider, and thus less convincing.

[still nobody @GreySomething]

I’ve come up with, and forgotten, so many great New Years resolutions.

[still nobody @GreySomething]

Oh yeah, still there

[still nobody @GreySomething]

Update: it’s still there