Groucho Marx

Hello, I must be going

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

[Groucho @AllThingsMarx]

#GrouchoMarx : "It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy"

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

I'm going to see that you get a steady position. And if I can arrange it, it will be horizontal.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

It's the most exclusive residential district in Florida. Nobody lives there!

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

Get away from that tree before it dies.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

Both boys are fiddling in the ring and I don't think I like the tune

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

He's got more women than you could shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.

[Michael Beschloss @BeschlossDC]

Here Groucho Marx & Jack Nicholson are one of the better juxtapositions of Hollywood generations:

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat until you get there. After you get there you're on your own.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

I tried boiling pig's feet once, but I couldn't get the pig to stand still.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

I thought homonym was a cereal.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

You're quite a dish, Marie, and since I'm the head dish around here, let's start cooking.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

So your name is John Rose - that's a simple declarative, isn't it?

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

Beethoven is famous for his fifth, and he never touched a drop.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

The vice presidency is right up my alley, although it might take a little time before I could manage to listen to the Senate every day.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

Folks, go to your neighborhood politician and ask for a nice, warm, mellow Groucho Marx for vice president.

[Groucho Marx @GrouchoMarx_]

From that day to the day I went into show business I can proudly say that no member of my family was ever again asphyxiated in our kitchen.