MacGruber

-Dome (get it? LOL ROFL LMAO)

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

My dick is burning. Has somebody been talking about me?

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Hashtagwillnotbewatchingthatshowfuckthatguy hashtagblessed

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Looks like a real piece of shit show and the show itself can stick itself up it's own ass and taste it's dick in reverse

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Sorry, my twitter got hacked by some fuck trying to post a review of some shitty looking show. Fuck that guy and fuck his show

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

How was it??? "@KimKardashian: On our way to our @Kbeautyhair launch party!!!"

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Mr. MacGruber, your table is ready...

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

The older I get, the less hair shots I produce, so this was a big deal

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Just saw that movie Nebraska. Frigging thing got me so hard, I came home to jerk it and shot all up in my hair.

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

sweet potato fries > regular fries BSOL!!!! (Being Serious Out Loud!!!!) ROFBS!!!! (Rolling On Floor Being Serious!!!!)

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Had the wettest dream last night. This guy Jennifer was riding me so hard. I asked her to slow down but he wouldn't and I just shot.

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

My dick is burning up today -- anyone know a good way to get your dick temperature down?

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

My documentary shit the bed! I can see why--it was about me and I saw Shrek 4 times! Well, gotta go, seeing Shrek again!

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

just to clarify: when i said bush, i meant beav. not either of the two ex-presidents.

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Hey! apparently someone made a movie about me-- comes out tomorrow. super pumped. should keep me knee-high in bush for the rest of my life!

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

For the record, it was really really warm in that room!

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

So bummed. Some of my old modeling pics just surfaced. The website http://www.wwtdd.com/ can go to hell! Nobody go there!

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

So jazzed--got my first credit card today! Thanks for taking a chance on me Diner's Club! Just jerked it ('05 Cher)

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Found an Arbys Beef n Cheddar coupon that expires tonight. So effing bummed -- just mowed a bunch of ramen.

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

Picked a bad day to freeball it!

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

SOS! Just got beat up by like 30 BMX dudes-they stole my jeans shorts and are riding around with them like a little flag.