Dave Blaze

A foil for the bothersome aspects of everything that's wrong with the world

[Michelle Harris @Mims1971]

@flighttrotter This is absolutely outrageous and this company are clearly scammers!

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

@ChristmasCo this year's treat from Father Christmas. Can't wait to see the excitement on her face!

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

Wow, let's swab you, take your details and then we'll send you a text with your results. Now there's a database with everyone's dna on it. 1984... #whenwilllockdownend

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

If you want to know #whenwilllockdownend you need to start injecting yourself with bleach. Didn't you hear? It kills it dead in seconds...

[andrew fisher ⚒ @andyfishercoyis]

London bridge

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

This gym has an 'enabled' toilet... (Roland mouth) #puregym

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

Pisses me off that people use hash tags instead of using sentences. #Look #at #me #everyone #use #sentences #you #twat

[Ramsin Isaac @Ramsinisaac]

Assyrians in the states that voted for trump... U must be feeling all kinds of silly right now

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

Love @davidwalliams! I thanked him for helping me get 15 boys to read this year, he gave me free books for the kids and signed them! #gent

[Russian Market @runews]

Blast hit station Sennaya Ploshchad in St. Petersburg, Tass reports, citing unidentified person.

[Vocal Europe @thevocaleurope]

URGENT | #Russia -
Explosion in St. #Petersburg metro station. No official statement yet made.

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

How can you be uncomfortable but not discomfortable? Or feel discomfort but not uncomfort?

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

@arw84 @Morrisons not this batch. All ended at Christmas

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

@Morrisons yes, Dan, they were. The Mrs is a loyalty card points fiend and I had to deal with the resulting fallout...

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

@Morrisons you sent me some vouchers, which were very useful. Or would have been had they not expired a week before I got them...

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

@SkySports what about your loyal customers who already pay through the nose? Oh I remember, you have to threaten to cancel #loyalty

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

@Cmdr_Hadfield not for you Americans!

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

When trying her out on a new food, say fish in tomato sauce, best not to wear a white T. Especially if she spits out what she doesn't like!

[Dave Blaze @GrumpyAssyrian]

Bloody love daddy day care! You lot wandering back from lunch while I finally get off my arse and leave the house. To go to the shops!