Paul Gibbons

I feel like ive been wearing a diaper my whole life. Now that the diapers off; im just shitting in my pants.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

All my life I’ve been bringing knives to gun fights. And now that I’ve got a gun the whole world’s switched back to knives.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

@bummerhoop Oh yeah 24/7 small price to pay though in the grand scheme of things

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

@bummerhoop People hate, but there’s nothing more comforting than knowing that cheese is always there for you.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

One man's garbage is another man person's good un-garbage

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

From the dumpy cigarette to the succulent needle, nothing satisfies quite like addiction

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

Goblins are real do not let the fake news media convince you otherwise.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

I’m a man armed with only a fork in a land filled with soup.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

Don’t fucking bother talking to me if you’re not carbon neutral.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

Just uploaded my consciousness to the metaverse my physical body is now merely a walking husk.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

Life gives lemons, you make lemonade, right? Well I'm not running a lemonade stand. Summertime's over, I gotta dump these fucking lemons and get some hot chocolate and marshmallows.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

Some people say you can't live in the past. Others say you can't predict the future. But you know what? No one says you can't buy a present 🎁

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

Decided I will no longer be paying taxes. What are they gonna do, tax me more? Go ahead. I wont pay those either. Oh im going to prison? The one paid for by my tax dollars? Sorry. Didn't pay em. Now there is no prison. I am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

Do not call your significant other honey unless you are a bee. Otherwise you are appropriating bee culture this cannot bee accepted.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

If bedbugs live in beds where do cockroaches live?

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

@lenabell_ You might want to talk to doctor! Heart is not supposed to be eating.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

You want me to hold my horses? Yeah good luck with that. They’re already off to the races, and every single one is a thoroughbred.

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

@GamerGibbons Can u play super monkey ball banana mania instead on Friday?

[Paul Gibbons @GualPibbons]

My car tells me that objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. But you know what I've never seen in that fucking mirror? The truth.