Lucas Pearson

An existence defined by futile struggle, doomed from the very start. And i dont regret a second of it

[Ted Nivison @TedNivison]

dude people with ADHD are so fucking stupid bro like just focus lol

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

Flushing my dead yorkie down the toilet like a fish

[Icy @whereicy]

At the strip club sighing loudly until the stripper ask what’s wrong

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

Going to the bikini barista but never breaking eye contact so she knows i value her for her mind

[Rusty 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @ImSmilingRn]

Honey get in the car. We have to go to the store because we're retarded and it's christmas eve

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

My favorite game this year didn't get nominated for goty. Time to start hurling accusations and crying and shitting my pants

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

Part of growing up is realizing how many of your friends have fetal alcohol syndrome 😔

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

accidentally bought stuff on https://t.co/AfoMzQ3zmX instead of https://t.co/OaBnzlniFS and now a guy is coming to my house

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

I like tk confuse my bodu by taking a benadryl and a energy dink at the same time

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

Hey, sales are up big time from last year, and every department is doing great! Also, we are cutting 400 hours from this months schedule :), please fuck yourself

[sabibi ♫•*¨*•.¸♪ ❤︎ @sabbox97]

what’s wrong babe? you barely took a hit from the labubong

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

I feel like people who complain about dive characters are only seeing clips where the best case scenario happens for the dives. They're not seeing the 5+ tries where spidey or bp completely whiff the kill.

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

Anyone who says dive characters are a problem in every match are just bad at the game lmao

[Elmo @elmo]

Elmo is just letting you know that Elmo might be a little grouchy today. Naptime didn't go as planned.

[Incineroar @IncinPkmn]

Just found out female pokemon trainers make less pokedollars than male

[Alex Nichols @Lowenaffchen]

My son has an IEP where he can play Nintendo Switch in class and if the teachers make eye contact with him he gets to take something out of their purse

[Lucas Pearson @GunJombos]

If i grow up to be one of those old people that fall down all the time, just leave me where i fall. It's what nature intended for me

[Sam Winkler @ThatSamWinkler]

A streamer you’ve never heard of who wasn’t born before any of the Dark Knight movies came out is gonna buy this and hydroplane it into a dog rescue shelter and gain two million subscribers and a Prime sponsorship

[Rusty 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @ImSmilingRn]

when youre the least autistic guy at your job you get to command the other autistic people around like age of empires

[The Redheaded libertarian @TRHLofficial]

Under Project 2025, Trump will put your whole family in a labor camp if you are caught with a copy of the female Ghostbusters.