GURT!!🖕🤠🖕

sit and twist 🖕🏻

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

I about to just be myself

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

@McDonalds I called and politely asked for a refund. She said they only take in person refunds and I don’t live in the area!! That can’t be right.

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

@McDonalds I ordered 4 chicken strips. I checked my bag before I left the drive through and they gave me mc nuggets. I let the girl at the window know and she said sorry about that, it’s fixed! I made the mistake of trusting her. When I got home I noticed she never fixed it.

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

On my mom

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Well it’s 2023 and Aires men are still everything that’s wrong w the world. I’ll check back w y’all in 2024.

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

I still stand by this

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Need to get back to this version of myself 😪

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

we’re fucking raw but I make you stop because I just realized I have 3 minutes left in the day to complete my Duolingo streak

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

They pull this out in a job interview… hmmmmm

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Wait. Can potential jobs find this account associated with me?

Because I stand on everything.

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

If you know how to do a magic trick… that’s hot as fuck. Pull a quarter out of my pussy.

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

My favorite sport is tongue hockey

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Cake farts is my favorite short film

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

I really admire the people who take the time to clean their camera roll out daily. I aspire to be you.

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Men get on their knees when they propose because they are essentially begging

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

The best part of having terrible memory is when I open my Twitter and get to re read my tweets that I’ve forgotten about

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Sitting on the shitter, shit talking. Wish I could just shit on you instead

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

How long does it take to “kill in pool”

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Men will have you on Google looking up:

“How long is a hockey game?”

“What’s the longest hockey game ever recorded?”

“What time does hockey end?”

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

My breath could smell like ASS and yall would still talk to me

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Something about a man in uniform

[GURT!!🖕🤠🖕 @Gurt444]

Alcoholics will celebrate anything