Joseph Kanyi

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[Joseph Kanyi @Guru25Assist]

Baboons and monkeys heard that the man who chase them from the maize field is dead, they hysterically celebrated. The following year there was no maize, they painfully realized that the man was the farmer. Not all enemies are enemies, some are pillars you really need to progress

[Joseph Kanyi @Guru25Assist]

@SharonAdhiamb0 Sioni wa 'nini nini'?🤔 I want to be there

[Ishika Rawat @Ishh_021]

Claude FULL COURSE 1 HOUR (Build & Automate Anything)

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

KRA wants a share of dowry money.

There is a guy called Kamau.

When it was time to buy his wife, he mobilized his most monied buddies.

He put them in a WhatsApp group. The fundraising began.

Those boys were loaded. They were only 35.
By by the time they were done, they had contributed 4.5 million shillings.

Others who were not in the group wired money directly to Kamau's bank account.

The ruracio D-Day arrived.

And as always, the one and only Kikuyu ruracio anthem was tuned.

🎶 Wero... Werokamu guku kwa wa Kanini... Werokamu... 🎶

Before they could finish the song, more than 2,000 people had pulled up.

Wakaanza kutoa funjo. Then one man stood on a stool and announced they could not sit until they had given Kamau top up money to add to the dowry.

The donation book was hurriedly brought. People lined up. Cash started flowing.

By the end of the day, another 2.8 million shillings had been raised.

Kamau took the money and banked it.

Total dowry contribution sitting at his bank account: 8m shillings.

The ceremony became the talk of Gatundu South.

Kamau paid his dowry. Collected his wife. And went home peacefully.

• Lesson 1. Monied friends are good for paying dowry.

I have no clue how. But sometime later, Kamau was marked for a KRA tax audit.

KRA went straight for his bank statements. They found deposits of 8 million shillings.

Immediately, they baptized the entire amount as undeclared taxable income.

Then demanded: 30% income tax. Penalties plus interest.

Total bill: 2.5 million shillings plus.

When Kamau saw the tax bill, he went mad.
He could try to talk but words would not come out. He nearly swallowed his tongue.

When he came back to real life. He shipped a protest letter to KRA.

He explained the money was dowry contribution from his family, friends and well wishers.

- He produced WhatsApp group fundraising screenshots.
- He produced RTGS confirmations.
- He produced the donation book.
- He even produced videos of the ceremony.

Including footage of the Werokamu song.

KRA could not hear any of it. They only wanted 2.5 million.

When Kamau realized KRA was not playing, he ran to court.

He told the Tribunal:

- My lord, look. I have shown KRA where the money came from.
- I have shown KRA who contributed it.
- I have shown KRA the ceremony.
- What more do they want from me?

KRA responded.
And what they said nearly made the judges fall off their chairs.

They argued the evidence was not convincing.

Why?

• Because the 2,000 plus donors had not sworn affidavits confirming that the money they gave was a donation and not payment for goods or services.

The Tribunal looked at the matter in amusement.

Then ruled.

- Kamau had discharged his burden of proof in full.
- KRA had acted unreasonably by ignoring and disregarding the substantial evidence he provided.
- And most importantly: Income tax is a tax on income. It is not a tax on every deposit appearing in a bank account.

The Tribunal found that KRA was wrong to treat all bank deposits as taxable income without first removing proven non income items such as dowry contributions.

The tax demand was killed.

Kamau won.

KRA retreated to Times Tower. And rested.

Case closed.

• Lesson 2.

- Document everything.

- KRA will push. Push hard.

[Macharia Njanja @njanja_dennis]

If you have a knack for the Queen's language, dedicate 120 hours this week and complete the TEFL certificate for free on Teacher Record. Ukipata that certificate, apply to teach English online pale Preply, Native Camp, Cambly, iTalki, VIP kid, Verbli, and similar related platforms. Some of these platforms pays more than $8/hr, zingine upto $16/hr. As I always say, online pesa ni mingi sana, we just need to figure out how to make this money reach our pockets.

[Abkr Sadiq @abs_uiux]

Correct prompt:

Create a professional studio portrait collage featuring the same person in different luxury business outfits, arranged in a clean 3x3 grid layout. Each portrait should show the person with a confident, serious, executive look, polished grooming, and a modern professional appearance.

Use different elegant corporate styles in each frame, such as a navy blue suit, charcoal grey suit, royal blue pinstripe suit, light grey suit, black suit, beige suit, and other premium formal outfits. Add white dress shirts, stylish ties, pocket squares, lapel pins, wristwatch, and subtle luxury accessories.

Each image should have a different professional pose: looking directly at the camera, hand on chin, looking slightly to the side, arms crossed, adjusting the suit jacket, seated at a desk with hands folded, and relaxed executive posture.

Use premium studio lighting, sharp facial details, realistic skin texture, clean backgrounds in warm brown, dark blue, grey, and luxury office tones. The final result should look high-end, modern, corporate, elegant, and suitable for LinkedIn, business branding, leadership profile, company website, or professional portfolio.

Style: ultra-realistic photography, premium executive portrait, luxury business fashion, sharp focus, clean 3x3 collage, cinematic studio lighting, professional color grading, high-resolution, polished business profile look.

[Joseph Kanyi @Guru25Assist]

@Russia_X1 Yes

[Young⁠ @Brayohki]

if your laptop is missing vitu kama bluetooth, wifi and sometimes sound inamaanisa kuna drivers haziko installed.
to fix this just press windows+R,
then type cmd, enter
then type driverquery/v, enter
it will update all the drivers and fix all that

[👷🏾‍♂️OG | The Engineer @gabriel_ofonime]

The power of cantilever retaining wall.

[Lilei ™𓃵 🇰🇪 @Artisurvey]

Pickings done, amalgamation of 5 LR's,
what follows is adjustments, road adjustments, boundaries alignment etc,..
give me your money I sort you out, involve a surveyor before you buy/develop a plot.

Asante.

[®RuithaFelix @Ruizlex_0]

Cadastral, where precision meets responsibility. Every boundary defined is a step toward secure land ownership and orderly development. #CadastralSurvey #LandAdministration

[BSAT Properties @BSAT_Properties]

How many bags of cement do you need to plaster a room?
This is how you can calculate the number of cement bags required to plaster your building.

Let’s take a room of 12 × 12 feet (3.6 m × 3.6 m) with a headroom of 3.0 m.

Step 1: Surface Area

We are plastering four walls, each 3.6 m long × 3.0 m high.
Area of one wall = 3.6 m × 3.0 m = 10.8 m²
For four walls = 10.8 × 4 = 43.2 m²
Total plastering area = 43.2 m²

Step 2: Plaster Thickness

Typical plaster thickness = 15 mm (0.015 m).
Volume of plaster = 43.2 m² × 0.015 m = 0.648 m³

Step 3: Mix Ratio

Common plaster mix = 1:4 (cement : sand) by volume.
Total parts = 1 + 4 = 5
Cement portion = ⅕ × 0.648 = 0.1296 m³

Step 4: Convert Cement Volume to Bags

Volume of 1 bag of cement (50 kg) = 0.035 m³
Number of bags = 0.1296 ÷ 0.035 = 3.7
≈ approximately 4 bags of cement

Therefore, you will need about 4 bags of cement to plaster the room.

Apply this same method to other sections of your building, and you’re good to go.

If you found this helpful, kindly click the share button and let someone else learn from your timeline too.

(c) YusufA's

[Ernest Nyakundi 🇰🇪 @ernest_nyakundi]

Ever wondered why some people own multiple properties…

…but are still broke?

This is how it happens.

A client was about to take a KSh 35M loan to build rental units.

On paper, it looked perfect.

Then we did the math.

A thread 🧵

[The Kenyan Vigilante @KenyanSays]

An electrician explains the numbers and codes you need to know when using a token machine.

[Chris Sambu @the_sambu]

Drone operations in Kenya are regulated under Remotely Piloted Aircraft Systems (RPAS) regulations by the Kenya Civil Aviation Authority thus meaning drones are "registered aircrafts" flying in the Kenyan airspace. Most commercial drones communicate with their controllers using radio signals. Security systems scan the airwaves to detect these signals and Identify drone communication frequencies which Locates both the drone and its pilot. They also recognize the drone model and manufacturer.

Since WRC is an international event, the Kenyan security set up set Specialized short-range radar systems that are designed to detect small objects . They systems which can detect drones several kilometers away just like it's done in barracks, Airports and any critical installation. The radar tracks their speed, altitude, and flight path.

Once confirmed it's an unauthorized drone, security agencies use radio frequency jammers that disrupt communication between the drone and its operator. The drone may lose signal and land automatically and they seize it. Alternatively Some systems force the drone to return to its launch point & track it back to the owner.

There is also GPS spoofing where
Security systems manipulate the drone’s navigation signals, causing it to Land safely and Move away from restricted airspace then Return to its operator.This largely is used if the agencies want to trace the operator.

Lastly, the last option is usually physically intercepting the drones where security apparatus send their capture drone that safely brings down your drone. This though never happens in Kenya, you fly it you will just see your drone descending like a stone😂

[Aijaz @iamsofiaijaz]

Image with Nano banana 2 only at @SocialSight

Prompt:

Side profile portrait of a young man with short messy hair and round glasses, minimalist black silhouette style, facing left, dramatic lighting, bright yellow background, dynamic black ink splashes and paint streaks exploding from the head and shoulders, abstract motion effect, modern digital illustration, high contrast black and yellow color palette, cinematic composition, sharp details, graphic novel style, paint splatter art, ultra clean background, 4k.

[Hania Ai @HaniaAi12]

Open Gemini, ChatGPT, or Grok.
Upload your photo.
Paste the prompt.
Generate your result.

Male & Female | Top 10 Prompts

[Harboris @harboriis]

Google Gemini Nano Banana Pro

Prompt:
Using a person's photo as the identfy refrence, create a minimalist cinematic fashion-editorial studio portrait with dramatic colored-gel lighting: vertical 4:5, mid-torso to head framing with generous negative space above, subject placed slightly left of center: pose: shoulders angled 3/4, head turned back toward camera, chin slightly lifted: expression calm, cool, slightly aloof, lips softly parted, eyes relaxed and focused: wardrobe: clean structured trench coat or minimalist overcoat with wide lapels and a single shoulder epaulette detail, no logos, no jewelry: lighting: strong saturated emerald-green gel key from camera-right/front-right (-5200K base under green gel) wrapping the face and coat, deep falloff into shadow on the far side, subtle soft fill from camera-left at very low intensity: background: a large circular "sun" spotlight/soft projection centered behind the head with a smooth radial gradient-bright amber core (#FF8A00) fading to deep burnt orange (#C43412) and then into near-black warm brown edges (#120408), perfectly clean and textureless: optics: 85mm portrait look, 1/2-1/2.8 shallow DOF (eyes tack sharp, background creamy), gentle bloom on highlights, smooth cinematic contrast, subtle film grain, rich color separation (green subject against orange halo), crisp micro-texture in fabric weave, controlled skin texture, no text, no watermark. Editorial, modern, high-detail, cinematic composition, ultra-realistic textures, professional fashion photography style.

[Jahan Zaib @jzaib4269]

Image on Gimini Nano Banana 2.

Prompt: A surreal, high-detail macro shot of a large spiral-bound notebook standing upright on a rustic wooden artist's workbench. On the notebook page, hand-drawn charcoal sketches of Donald Trump in a navy pinstripe suit and Elon Musk in a black blazer are physically stepping out of the paper. The figures are 3D, miniature-sized, and hyper-realistic as they walk toward the viewer. The background of the page contains handwritten text that says "PROJECT AI Prompt: Date: March 2026." The workbench is scattered with realistic art supplies: squeezed paint tubes, wooden palettes with wet oil paint, brushes, and a palette knife. Cinematic lighting streams in from a nearby window, creating soft bokeh on a bookshelf in the background. 8k resolution, professional studio photography style, extremely sharp focus on the figures.

[Noor 🌸 @Noor_ul_ain43]

1. Open @grok

2. Upload your photo

3. Prompt⤵️
"A high-definition, hyper-realistic photo restoration of the provided vintage portrait. Maintain the exact facial structure, features, and neutral expression of the man in the original image. Repair all cracks, creases, and texture damage. Convert the sepia/black and white tones into natural, realistic colors with accurate skin tones. The subject should be facing forward in the same head-on pose. Clean, sharp focus, 8k resolution, cinematic lighting, maintaining the authentic look of a physical photograph but in modern HD quality."

[Mr Das @MrDasOnX]

1. Open ChatGPT
2. Upload Your Image
3. Prompt

Ultra-realistic surreal conceptual advertisement photo of a distressed young woman trapped inside a giant Sprite soda bottle. The tall emerald-green PET plastic bottle stands upright in the center like a transparent prison. The bottle has authentic Sprite branding: a recognizable Sprite logo label with white lettering, green background, and lemon-lime graphic, wrapped around the center of the bottle, with a green ridged cap.

The bottle plastic is semi-transparent with realistic PET material, subtle scratches, molded seams, condensation droplets, and embossed grip patterns. Strong optical refraction through the curved green plastic distorts the view inside.

Inside the bottle, the woman is crouched tightly with bent knees, partially submerged in glowing lime-green carbonated soda with rising bubbles and sparkling effervescent streams. Tiny carbonation bubbles float upward around her body. The soda emits faint luminous citrus highlights.

She wears a dark charcoal t-shirt and black pants with natural wrinkles. Her short messy hair is slightly damp from condensation. Her expression shows anxiety and exhaustion, eyes wide with panic.

Her palms press against the curved bottle wall, fingers splayed as if trying to escape. Her face and hands appear warped and refracted through the green plastic and soda.

Cold cinematic studio lighting from the upper right creates sharp highlights on wet plastic, glowing reflections on the Sprite label, deep emerald shadows, and caustic light patterns through the fizzy liquid. Volumetric light reveals mist, floating particles, and carbonation trails.

Hyper-detailed skin texture, ultra-realistic plastic and liquid physics, shallow depth of field, ultra-sharp focus, dark moody studio background, high-end surreal beverage advertisement photography style, symbolic concept of refreshment turning into confinement, 8K quality, vertical composition.