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A guy was complaining about the economy and he wants to marry. He has so much pressure on him. I asked him how much his babe earns and his response was "dem dey ask woman how much she dey earn?" I said YES. You have to know. Over 5 years relationship and you don't know how much she earns.
I realized this is a common theme in 9ja relationship. You don't ask, not because you can foot the bills comfortably but you're afraid she will lose interest in you or lose respect for you. What are you people doing? Even as a woman, you're supposed to meet your man and inform him how much you earn so you work out how you can contribute to the running of the home. You don't need to japa to learn this. It is common sense.
I had to tell him marriage is joint responsibility. Dont go and die before your time. You both need to know how much you're making so you can plan together how to pay your bills and run the family. His fear is that, you'll start losing respect if you get a woman to take part in financial responsibility. I told him plainly that a woman without sense of responsibility is not whom you should be dating. If your woman takes offence at contributing financially to her relationship/home or lose respect for you, you better fling her away. You're not an odogwu, stop forcing it. You both work, so share the bills.
I promise you that it is easier for a woman who has always carried responsibility with you, to carry the home if your source of income hits the rock before you recover, than a woman who is busy saving her income and using money to do as she likes. One already has sense of responsibility and is ever ready to step up. The other one is not used to it and will mount pressure on you to be a man because she is not used to the debit alert.
Above all, people fight for their investments. If she is not invested in the home, she can easily walk away. Don't assume her money will always be there simply because you were always footing the bills. Her answer will shock you. In the end, we accept the love we think we deserve.