han

i had a grat tim when i was chicacrit i had las ava makup on my fas

[han @HHanBan]

this is my official announcement: i'm running for president

[han @HHanBan]

November 8, 2016

[Senate Budget Democrats @SenateBudget]

Reminder: Trump isn't choosing to fund SNAP—Democrats sued the Trump Administration to force him to fund SNAP so families wouldn't go hungry.

And Trump is still refusing to fund half of the program, continuing to use children and vulnerable families as bargaining chips.

[han @HHanBan]

If you’re not giving Forever by @NoahKahan on Airbuds today I need you to reevaluate your priorities

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

To everyone that’s in my .0001% I love you and recommend a vitamin C lamp

[han @HHanBan]

I bet if we make a pact to never have sex with straight men again, we’d get the rights to our bodies back. Then again, they’d probably just force us #fuckmen #prochoice

[han @HHanBan]

You can count on me hanging on to my daddy issues today

[han @HHanBan]

I was today years old when I learned that people have been saying Hawkeye NOT hot guy

[rach @sri_RACH_a]

@HHanBan

[han @HHanBan]

Mother Nature really said, “next up, sad season”

[han @HHanBan]

Imagine being someone like Voldemort and actually WANTING to live forever… what a concept

[han @HHanBan]

I don’t know what phantom limb feels like but I imagine it’s similar to when they pump saline into my veins after donating plasma - that shit hurts

[han @HHanBan]

It’s like senior year of high school and you have 100+ graduation announcements but instead you’ve been graduated for four years and they’re all wedding announcements

[han @HHanBan]

Peep, it’s that time of the year again
#BirthdaySex

[han @HHanBan]

my coworkers and i were having a grand time until they found out i was mormon, then they acted like i wasn’t there.
this isn’t because the gospel sucks, it’s because latter day saints miss represent us so bad

[han @HHanBan]

remember when jason looked just like hayes grier?

[han @HHanBan]

If you didn’t have twitter in jr. high, you now go to BYU

[han @HHanBan]

My culture is not your costume

[Michael Benjamin @mfbenji]

This one goes out to Lakynn

[BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan]

"Hi. I'm Grandma Winnie. I'm 100 years old.
And all I want for my birthday is for someone to impeach this...SUCKER!" *chucks MAGA hat*

❤️We LOVE you, Grandma Winnie.❤️

Hang in there, Grannie...we're working on it!

[han @HHanBan]

Me: *flosses teeth once a year right before dentist appointment

Dentist: “I can tell you’ve been flossing”