historytfln

history's texts from last night // nsfw (pretty much on hiatus)

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(yijeong): just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

#HI5TORYFOREVER

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(kyungil): i'll try not let guys feel my pecs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. i am my boyfriends worst nightmare.

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(sihyoung): seeing someone hit themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. i love being the sober friend

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(dokyun): my mom wants to come see the dorm.
(jaeho): Hide the whip.

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(sihyoung): you should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(jaeho): He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(yijeong): Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

yijeong: officer i'm afraid YOU'RE under arrest......for stealing my heart
kyungil: delete my number

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

dokyun: we can no longer cook chicken in the dorm.
sihyoung: why?
dokyun: his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

jaeho: i'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your christmas party next week. i'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sihyoung: you are uninvited

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(kyungil): i woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. what.

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(yijeong): dude wtf why are there forks in my wall.

(jaeho): does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

sihyoung: QUICK MOM ISNT HOME LETS HAVE FUN
jaeho: dokyun will be gone for like 2 years
sihyoung, crying: YEAH I KNOW WE GOTTA MAKE IT COUNT RIGHT GUYS

[unbleached history ♡ @melaninhistory]

dokyun ♡ we'll miss you, sweetheart.

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(yijeong): is 5 a lot?

(kyungil): depends on the context... dollars? no. murders? yes. sex? probably

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

(kyungil): I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

jaeho: can u send me a pic of u with a spoon on your head

sihyoung: why

jaeho: i'm catfishing a sugar daddy using ur selfies now SEND IT

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

jaeho: it's been almost a year since our leader kyungil passed away......
kyungil: stop telling people i'm dead
jaeho: sometimes it feels like he still texts me

[historytfln @HISTORYTFLN]

kyungil: You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “GET FUCKED" when you wake up
jaeho: don't you get woken up by your c.o?
kyungil: yeah