H Kamm

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

@danie1_e1der Nice trophy, dude.

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

I think we should just start tossing U-Haul boxes onto the White House lawn.
#uhaul
#getpacking
#movingday

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

*apologies to Simon and Garfunkel*

Hello, space heater my old friend,
It's that time of year again.
When you keep me from freezing,
And to my toes you are pleasing,
And the sound of your heating coils is all I want to hear!

It's the sound.. of science.

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

@frankiedid1 Who is this and what have you done with Frankie!?

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

@realDonaldTrump Am I to understand that the President of the United States just posted this?

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

My new favorite sport is Bill Walton commentary.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion..."

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

Sneezing on the toilet freaks me out. I always feel something unearthly will happen.
Like maybe that's how you actually summon demons.

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

Me: if this snow keeps up we need to save our urine.
Her: ???!There's snow out there & we have the means to melt-
Me: URINE!
#snowpocalypse

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

It's alive!

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

I need an app wherein I can take a picture of a cake, how many slices i need and then it spits out a photo of how to cut it up. Get on it!

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

"Snivel Disobedience" (noun):
the act of protesting an election in which one did not vote.

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

I'm pretty sure this is how The Hunger Games prequels will begin.

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

I think it's time for a new vacuum cleaner. This one is actually spitting OUT tiny rocks and junk. It's like vacuuming a mobius strip.

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

I just caught myself saying, "...not yet, my precious but very soon."
I was talking to the Reese's peanut butter cups I had bought earlier.

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

@khgrnis i did when she had that crazy stalker.

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

Why do bananas get the bad rap? Why don't we say, "..they went eggplant!" ?

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

#tubeapalooza

[H Kamm @HKamm1]

A cuddle of penguins