HLPRNews

All your Venture world news updates from those friendly folks at HLPR! Stay tuned!

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Apparently the world ending was avoided this week...more news to follow....

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Scientists are now able to use brain tissue from chimps in lab rats allowing them to see 9 seconds into the future...they think, unfortunately more information on rat linguistics is still required to interpret the collected data but Steve is pretty sure that’s what’s happening.

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Colonel Gentleman's good podcasts to listen to while you work around the house: HLPR NETWORK!  I mean it sounds like a great list. Find us on anchor.

https://t.co/QjPzHfzFCN

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“Stupidity has now been proven to be contagious. You’ve been warned.
Love,
Science”
...oh Science, you kill me..slowly yet inevitably...

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Fact:Some people have a genetic disposition to cilantro making it taste like soap. These individuals may be prone to other irregularities/abilities. So if cilantro tastes like a bar of Dove soap to you, please report to your local black ops site for further testing!

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OMG! Dave Grohl asked us to collaborate on a project with him! We’re so in!

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The weather forecast today will vary based on your location due to...science!!!

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Good morning!...apparently a pack of Diamond Dogs got loose and are terrorizing pedestrians in the downtown area, stay alert out there!

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New jPhone update will allow “surveillance mode” to be optional according to new claims made by VenTech Industry officials earlier today.

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We seem to have lost Rat Island back to the sea. Large tunnels recently dug under it seem to have filled up with water and reclaimed the small piece of land. If you have any information, please contact your local authorities.

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Just found this in our inbox...
Fun fact! The sky may be poisons tonight, sorry!
Love,
Science
...it’s like a week old though,oops!

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Red death is at it again folks, watch for falling horse shit down 5th ave tonight!

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Is anyone missing a baby!?! If so, please contact The Grand Galactic Inquisitor.