HRP

Gentleman of culture. Pineapple Daddy. I write the words the whole world searches.

[HRP @HRP35]

Donald Trump rarely wears yellow ties. This is 100% because Japanese people were welcomed at the White House, isn’t it?

[CSPAN @cspan]

Q: "Why didn't you tell U.S. allies…about the war before attacking Iran?"

President Trump: "We wanted surprise. Who knows better about surprise than Japan? Why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor?"

[HRP @HRP35]

Tis far too beautiful a night for sobriety.

[HRP @HRP35]

Next time I’m in Vegas I’ll return to Craftsteak simply to show appreciation for this tweet.

[Tom Colicchio @tomcolicchio]

Bad plastic surgeons

[HRP @HRP35]

That feeling when you realize you don’t have a full work week until mid January.

[HRP @HRP35]

Supposing ghosts are real, what do you think the term for ghosting is in their community?

[HRP @HRP35]

While some of you look at this time as the morn of cuffing season, I welcome it as time to catch up on all the music I’ve meant to listen to and not made time for. It’s best of the year playlist making season.

Chicks with swagger are having themselves a year.

[HRP @HRP35]

@jmjones I just sent a group text asking the same. It also seems like the camera’s pulled out a little further.

[HRP @HRP35]

The @StLouisBlues season begins tonight and that’s got me feeling

[HRP @HRP35]

May all of you who choose not to vaccinate their children suffer the repercussions that those who aren’t irresponsible fucking morons inevitably will too.

[NBC News @NBCNews]

Nowhere are NBC News’ findings more striking than St. Louis.

The rate of children starting kindergarten in the St. Louis area who are fully vaccinated has plummeted from 91.6% during the 2010-11 school year to 75.9% in 2024-2025.

"We're just in a waiting phase before measles comes and rocks the state of Missouri," a head nurse at the Premier Charter School in St. Louis says.

[HRP @HRP35]

Thought I was having a stroke. My sunglasses were slowly fogging over. Close call. #blessed

[HRP @HRP35]

To the creative who put together the @Rockies City Connect color palette: Thanks for your contributions to Summer 2025 Henry’s look.

[HRP @HRP35]

The seemingly cool kids of elementary school dress exactly like the biggest nerds of my childhood.

[HRP @HRP35]

Remember, always bet the horse whose name is the best nickname for your dick. Go ahead and call Render Judgment the winner.

Don’t have a ween? Pick the name that best describes your favorite.

[HRP @HRP35]

Just heard a podcaster describe people my age, infant Gen Xer or elder millennial, as Generation Oregon Trail. I think that’s beautiful.

[HRP @HRP35]

@notthefakeSVP Please reveal who so that I may reach out to my new favorite ESPN employee.

[HRP @HRP35]

6.

[HRP @HRP35]

Finding a clean, empty men’s bathroom at Mardi Gras has to feel better than winning a million dollars.

[HRP @HRP35]

Hey look, dumb dumb is catching up to what we’ve all been saying for years.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

If ANY judge ANYWHERE can block
EVERY Presidential order EVERYWHERE,
we do NOT have democracy,
we have TYRANNY of the JUDICIARY.

[HRP @HRP35]

So @SamsClub moved where they store @DietCokeGB and I nearly died of a heart attack.

[HRP @HRP35]

Yeah, but does it make you feel drunk?

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

Cocaine "is no worse than whiskey" and is only illegal because it comes from Latin America, said Colombian President Gustavo Petrohas said per CBS