H

[Abdullahi @Abdull_tjay]

Used to get bantered for 4th, then it shifted to finishing 2nd. Now they’re trying to turn winning the league and losing a ucl final into banter. That’s just the goalposts moving as the level rises. Rival fans are hanging on for dear life, they know what’s coming.

[n᳂lan @nolanfy9s]

setting up screen time limits on apps just to click ignore for today when i get limited

[maaya 🍯 @turiyaa]

um nobody told me as u grow older and meet more people everyone starts to remind u of someone u already know or have known at some point??!

[Ms.Bougie 💋 @KeshondaBougie]

You go from 19 to 25 so quick 😩

[🐝🏆 @Bee__xo]

The possibility of Saka taking a pen against Donnarumma again has been keeping me up at night.

[C @ChrysShotYa]

“That’s right. Rastafari” is how I’m ending my sentences from now on

[Shiraz Malik @SMalik86]

Earning Haaland Stay humble you cunt

[ayan. @artan_ayan]

'I used to be a brother, and now I'm not a brother anymore'.

[💲🤍 @makeupbyshaniah]

i knew i smelled shit

[Toney! Toni! Toné! @the_notorious_]

Don’t invite me anywhere with a chaotic parking situation.

[xlv @shadadzai]

this temu pig shirt advert that appears the top of my TL every time driving me crazy

[Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen]

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be

[spicebae @spicebae_]

forcing myself to believe that everything happens for a reason so i don't crash out

[jynx @jynxbby]

him: can i take you out on a date?
me: sure
him: ok, pick somewhere for us to go
me:

[Meech @MediumSizeMeech]

The academy robbed him of an Oscar I fear

[jynx @jynxbby]

when everyone replies to your story except the target

[ella @ellamusker]

how do boys know you’re single the second it happens ??? can sniff u out like a bloodhound. GO AWAY.

[Shon @Shontellia]

I know a lychee martini hate to see me coming

[jynx @jynxbby]

once i say, “interesting”, just know that you slipped up