HaikuGuru

I tweet in Haikus So, clearly my bio should Be no exception

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Are you counting the
Syllables while you read this
Or do you trust me?

[Jacob Corsaro @JacobCorsaro]

Everytime he sees a new movie. Every. Time.

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

When it rains it pours
So I guess it’s raining on
My face cause WOW pores!!

[JCBAMF @JC_BAMF]

It may be end times, but these boys are always prepared. Don’t let their superstitions fool you, these rascals are in deep with the Elder Gods. So kick back, consult the bones and watch our newest sketch: “Superstitious Party

https://t.co/KYDKaLl3OH

PS: Goats are yum, yum!

[Jacob Corsaro @JacobCorsaro]

I was on-book for The Little Mermaid recently—what a mess

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Man, I go to work
True winner—jeans skinny, like
Squidward; Cat Daddy.

[Jacob Corsaro @JacobCorsaro]

Kinda regret getting the new #AnimalCrossing ://

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

I wanted to hear
Funky Town—so guess what, love?
I played Funky Town.

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Wow, I miss my wife.
I miss my wife so, so much.
It physically hurts.

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Cover your mouth when
You sneeze, cough, or someone says
“Who has teeth? Gimme!”

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Imagine how much
Hotter I would be if I
Was better looking

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

May not have gotten
A Valentine, but will you
Be my Quarantine?

[Jacob Corsaro @JacobCorsaro]

Times are tough right now. They are. But there is a sliver of hope.

“Tribute” by @tenaciousd is almost at 100,000,000 plays on @Spotify

If we pull together—if we unite—we can get them there.

THIS is our Pick of Destiny.

Let’s do this!#Tribute #RoadTo100M @jackblack @gassleak

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Call me old fashioned—
Seriously. I dare you.
Just see what happens.

[JCBAMF @JC_BAMF]

Our firsts new sketch is on YOUTUBE at this very moment!

A local celebrity drops by to visit our living room and make new friends :)

https://t.co/1HoAy7Pljm

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Birds are not cute so
Please stop making memes as if
They’re remotely sweet

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Brazil doesn’t want
Your baked ziti potluck dish
So STOP sending it!!

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

I’m a cow, baby.
Moo moo. Moo-oo-oo baby.
I’m just a damn cow.

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

@PeteONeill12 @JacobCorsaro Do you want to see
These damn hands or what, my man?
Don’t fuck with the frog

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

How wild is it
That we all know the Can-Can?
Truly all of us.

[HaikuGuru @HaikuGuru]

Dear Evan Hansen,
Today I was turned on by
Milk. Sincerely, Me.