Hailey Boyle

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

Monday is Robin's 5th Birthday, I hope that means it is lucky!

[The Stand @StandComedyClub]

We're auctioning off the original Stand Cowboy backdrop on Monday August 15th!

Bid on a piece of comedy history, all in support of an upcoming initiative to help young people experience and get into comedy. Open to all, 5pm, hosted by our @fredmacaulay

https://t.co/hUdD13cAGL

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

If you have a morbid love of drama and a desire to support me as an artist, I have excellent news for you: There is a podcast
https://t.co/UTLbT8M3Yy

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

To the 2 of you who care: I won the appeal, CPS was in the wrong to take my son. Still traumatized, alienated, unemployed, and homeless, but yay justice. Also please hire me, I am officially not a child abuser.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

I am back on twitter for exactly one tweet to say: CHECK OUT MY REDESIGNED REBRANDED RELAUNCH! This bish got skills, so help me pay my bills. Try it, you will like it!
https://t.co/tx7zhv5eCx

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

Okay for serious this time. I have two years without cigarettes, men, or porn. Time to stop this twitter addiction. Gonna stick to being invisible in real life. Hope you all find everything you are looking for.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

Spent my birthday fielding rejection calls from homeless shelters and I am still standing so if you were waiting for me to break, get comfy bro.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

I am dealing with homelessness, and a legal appeal, and weird family shit and all variety of real problems, but the hardest part of my day is not tossing Adam Sandler quotes at my tender hearted toddler. T-t-t-today junior!

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

2/2 The best part is he swears he only needed me to see it to make sure I could take it so he wouldn't be wasting my time by developing a relationship with a guy who is simply too big to fit inside me. Me, who birthed a 10lbs baby.
You guys my jokes are starting to come true.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

1/2
Two years of celibacy and I tell every dude who even winks at me I am not DTF on any level. Two loooong years working on myself in a sex desert. I finally agree to give one, JUST ONE, guy my number and boom, my phone is full of BBC.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

I rebranded and made a Halloween collection. Can I stop being homeless yet please?
https://t.co/tx7zhv5eCx

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

Just heard a couple boning through the wall and holy shit hearing somebody else be disappointed in real time changed my perspective.
Celibacy ain't easy, but I am never gonna get used again.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

This design lived in my head and while learning how to make it I birthed a whole new brand. I love my stuff and will be wearing LADYBOMB and tie dye exclusively from now on. Big launch on my birthday 9/21
#bigclitenergy

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

Norm is one of the few people that has made me laugh so hard it hurt, and usually at the silliest stuff. "... ladies and gentlemen, this man is for the birds!"
I am still laughing at that one. Sleep well.

[Jessica Michelle Singleton 💖 @JMScomedy]

I have a new comedy album dropping called HORNY FOR DEATH

You can pre-order it now! Free preview track when you pre-order 🙌🏼 https://t.co/iW21Y2xCiu

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

So today I was at a crowded park and three hot Russian dudes marched in, came right over to me, gave me a bunch of water bottles, prayed over me in Russian, and then vanished. So I am either super blessed or super cursed. Time will tell.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

My son talks about what happened when they took him all the time. Tonight he asked me why the officer took him to the other house. Because they said it would be dangerous to leave you with mommy, I said. Y'all he fell over and yelled WHAT? MOMMY NOT DANGWAS!
It was great.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

I did comedy tonight. I wore a jumpsuit. They took pictures. Should be cool.

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

My last shimmy shimmy bar melted in the car so I went to replace it only to find out @LushLtd discontinued it so now I am scraping it out of the tin and tweeting my plee to bring it back please! It is my favorite favorite favorite thing! Shimmy and shine please!

[Hailey Boyle @HaileyButter]

Sometimes I wonder where I would be now if I had ditched my family after they set me up to get robbed by my junkie aunt 10 years ago. Guess we will find out in another 9 year suckas!

[rachel wolfson @rachelwolfson]

there’s a special place in hell for people who cut drugs with fentanyl