Build a marriage where you:
-Talk like best friends
- Play like kids
- Defend one another like siblings
- Touch like lovers
And protect one another like a husband and wife.
Your wife is still at work, there's stew in the fridge, and you can't even boil rice to eat? You're waiting for her to come back and boil rice for you? That's wickedness.
Before you sleep tonight, put your phone away and ask your wife these 6 questions.
You might be surprised by what she tells you.
Some of these questions can reveal things your everyday conversations never will.…..
Every time I see couples who have been married for more than 20 years, I ask myself:
How many times did they have to forgive each other?
How many arguments did they have that nobody else knew about?
How many financial problems did they survive together?
How many times did they think about divorce?
How many seasons did they go through where the love faded but they still stayed?
Because staying married for 20+ years isn't about having a perfect relationship.
It's about two imperfect people surviving different versions of life together, raising children, losing people they love, dealing with money issues, watching their bodies change, making mistakes, forgiving each other and somehow continuing to choose the same person.
When you see an old couple holding hands, you're probably looking at decades of stories that nobody outside that marriage will ever fully know.
I salute you guys who have hit that milestone.
As a husband, your wife deserves intimacy that goes far beyond sex. She deserves dates, genuine compliments, thoughtful surprises, flowers, affection, deep conversations, and the feeling of being pursued even after the wedding.
Marriage shouldn’t make you stop dating your wife. You married a person with feelings, needs, and a heart not a robot. Keep courting her, keep choosing her, and keep making her feel loved.
-The bathroom floor is always dry.
-Your things remain the same way you left them.
-The peace and quiet to think and plan.
-You cook and eat whatever and whenever you like.
-Just being.
Dont know the school, dont know the school fees, dont know what the kids ate, dont know their friends, dont know how their day went, dont know their medical history/record, don't know the child's allergy, don't know the child's personal struggle.
What exactly are you parenting? "My child" but you no sabi anything.
They are ashamed if their wife pays the child's fees, but don't have shame the wife knows all these and they don't.
You must provide your wife with a separate accommodation and free her from your parents misunderstanding or abuse!
She is not their servant and no where in Islam that obliges her to tolerate their torture.
Indeed you are a bad husband for not giving her her rights.
Your mother loves you because you are her son.
Your siblings love you because you are brother.
Your children love you because you are their father.
But your wife is the only person who chose to love you without any obligation.
She believed in you when no one else did.
Always remember the woman who chose to build her world around you.
Respect her, Protect her at any cost.
Some husbands think being a good provider gives them permission to be terrible husbands at home. The bills are paid, the children have food, the mortgage is handled and there is money in the bank, so they convince themselves they have done everything required of them.
Meanwhile, their wife hasn't received affection in months, they barely have a conversation that isn't about responsibilities, and every attempt she makes to connect with him is met with a phone, television or tiredness.
Providing is important, but money cannot replace emotional presence. Your wife doesn't only need a roof over her head; she also needs to feel loved, wanted, respected and remembered. Your children don't only need school fees; they need a father who actually knows what is happening in their lives.
Being a provider is part of being a husband. It is not the entire job description.
One of the biggest mistakes married couples make is assuming that because they are married, they no longer have to impress each other.
You stop dressing well for each other, you stop flirting, you stop going on dates, you stop complimenting each other and eventually every conversation becomes about bills, children, work and responsibilities.
Then one day you look at your spouse and wonder where the attraction went.
Marriage doesn't mean you stop dating your wife. It means you now have even more reason to keep choosing her. Take her out, buy her good stuffs, touch her affectionately, make her laugh and remind her that you still find her attractive.
Don't let your marriage become like a business partnership .
Husbands, never underestimate the power of coming home with something your wife likes without her asking.
Flowers, snacks, her favorite drink, anything.
You might spend $10 and suddenly you're the best husband on earth for the next 48 hours.
As a woman, if your husband is at work and you are at home, take care of your home. Make sure he comes back to a clean, nice-smelling home. He may be coming back from work stressed, tired, or frustrated. Let home be the place where he finds peace, rests, eats good food, and feels cared for.
But it goes both ways.
When the weekend comes and your husband is not working, it is ideal for him to help his wife too especially if she is a stay-at-home mum. Help with the house chores. Cook. Take care of the children. Give your wife a chance to rest too.
Marriage is not about keeping score or saying, “This is your job, that is my job.”
You are partners.
You take care of each other, support each other, and make life easier for each other. That is what marriage should look like.
Wait until you find out that there is a man who wakes up around 4 a.m., warms water for himself because it’s cold, performs wudu, and prays.
Then, before leaving for the mosque, he warms water for his wife too and wakes her up to perform wudu and pray.
Even after getting to the mosque, when they are about to start the iqamah, he will still call to make sure she is awake and has prayed.
That kind of love is different. ❤️
The worst thing about abusers, is that they love you publicly. It then becomes difficult for you to explain to anyone that behind closed door, this person is a demon.
So you find yourself keeping up an appearance because everyone you should talk to is "genuinely happy for you" and envying your relationship/marriage.
I send my parents 200,000 naira monthly. My elder brother found out and started adding 50,000 naira, making it 250,000 naira total. I send it all directly to my father.
Last month I exceeded my budget and could not send my part. I informed my father and forwarded him the 50,000 naira my brother sent.
My mother called. She had already budgeted her share from what he gives her for something important. I asked how much my father usually gives her so I could send that directly.
She said 150,000 to 200,000 naira.
I paused. I actually thought it wouldn't be more than 100,000 naira.
I send my father 250,000 naira and he gives my mother almost everything. My father is not a rich man. He really makes nothing elsewhere.
And the 50,000 naira I sent him last month when I was short? He had already forwarded it to her.
Well, I sent her an extra 60,000 naira and told her to make do with that.
The most interesting part is that my mother has no idea the amount I send to my father monthly. She only knows that I send them money.
My father is one of the most selfless people I know. ❤️
Above all, love God.
Cillian Murphy said something about women that stopped every relationshippsychologist who heard it.
In three sentences he described something most men spend their entire lives unable to articulate.
And what he said will change how you understand every relationship where one person sees more clearly than the other...
If your wife takes care of you, reward her, bro.
Don’t punish a good woman with silence, neglect, and cheap treatment.
She cooks, she respects you, she keeps the home, she stands with you, and some of you still don’t treat her right.
A good wife is rare.
If you mistreat her, you will lose her warmth first. Then you will lose her respect. Then you will lose the home.
God will not bless a man who keeps hurting a woman who is doing him right.
Take care of the one who takes care of you.