Haley Boltjes

I call my guardian angel Mom 💜 If you a positive you better bless this space. If you a negative you betta get up out my face.

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

The amount of ‘christians’ comparing trump to Jesus right now is so disgusting.. Like did y’all pay attention when you read the Bible? Pretty sure there’s a commandment about false gods… And this is coming from an atheist.

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

My coworkers are always looking out for me. They always shoot me the 🙄🤚🏼💍👈🏼 look when a cute guy walks in 😂😂

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

My best friend’s husband (who I don’t like because he’s my best friends husband and that’s my job) told me that he genuinely loves me because of the friend I am to his wife and daughter. Bro don’t, you’ll make me actually be able to stand you 🥺

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

The people bitching about a movie character having two dads are the same people claiming that the world is too sensitive…
Y’all need a hobby.

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

Excuse me, I’m not a business person, but just slapping a “20% Off Everything” on your store does not a Black Friday Sale make. I have adult money now, make me want to punch an old lady for a good deal please!

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

You can’t say that you love Harry Potter if you don’t know how to answer “what house are you in?”. Frickin posers 🙄

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

Last night BF told me he’s making meatloaf for tonight. This was a mistake because now I’ve been singing Meatloaf songs to him 😂

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

“Tell her that hurt people, hurt people. That’s why I’m so mean.” My advice after my friends kid was bullied 🤣

[melissa “cancelled student debt” byrne @mcbyrne]

Behind every prominent opponent of student loan relief is a forgiven PPP loan.

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

Me: I’m trying to figure out who’s voicing the narrator.
BF: Oh! I know. He’s got curly hair.
Me: … 🤣🤣🤣 that’s not helpful
*the narrator, in fact, doesn’t have curly hair*

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

I was staring into my cat’s eyes and noticed a small growth. I said “Oh no, I think Kitty has a stye or something.” And then immediately she *thwaped” my eyeball. WTF!? I was concerned about her but not anymore. At least she didn’t use her claws so I can’t complain that much.

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

My poor father really thought Ken was an important component for Barbie 😂 Sir, my Ken was an Aladdin, and I still never made him a main character.

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

It warms my soul when someone I don’t know sees me and immediately says “you look just like your mom” 🥰

[Crash Test Meg, Head Advice Crone @MegNumbers]

What I’m learning from Barbie and the Taylor Swift tour is that women want to get dressed up and go places and have fun and men are invited but if they’re going to be a drag they can stay home, and that makes some men VERY angry.

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

My best friend and her husband are coming to Sioux Falls because he has a hockey tournament. He booked a hotel with a king and a pull out couch. “I’ll sleep on the couch so you two can cuddle in bed” - her husband.
I love when a man knows his place 👏🏼😂

[Brad @BraddrofliT]

Today I’m hearing all of the good old boys and girls saying if you don’t like Jason Aldean you don’t have to listen to him. Gotcha. And if you don’t like certain library books you don’t have to ban them ‘cause you ain’t going to read them.

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

My old landlord popped up on my ‘people you may know’. The house I rented from him was a complete shit hole. It shouldn’t have been lived in. I looked at his page, and he travels all over the world. Couldn’t put any of that money to make the house you own livable huh? 🙄

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

I just got tickets to see Aladdin for $29 a piece on my 30th birthday! Boom! 💥 💃🏼

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

“Full of good ole boys raised up right” 🤣🤣🤣 ok all the good ole boys in my small town were not raised up right but go off

[Haley Boltjes @HaleyBoltjes]

Bf: your tire had a nail in it so it’s getting fixed right now.
Me: like right now? But my car is outside?
Bf: yah I put the spare on so I could leave the tire there to get fixed.
Me: I had a spare!?
Bf: 🙄🤣🤣