Haley Meltzer

usc alumna, costco executive member, & oxford comma enthusiast

[Old Row Sports @OldRowSports]

“Now we head to 13 for Spieth’s second shot”

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

This woman shit easy 💯

[David DeWeil @daviddeweil]

I get why people eventually get into bird watching. A beautiful little humming bird would never run up the middle 3 straight times and then punt

[Big Ole Cock @BOC_Gamecock]

It’s Thursday and somehow it’s already 1st and 15 for us

[Matthew Whatley @__whatley__]

*Braves fans barely hanging on, hoping their team can somehow win tonight*

Ohtani:

[bum @BattleRapBum]

money on the line mo

[shark memes @SharkMemess]

replied to a work email on my phone in front of my dad

[Transfer Portal @NCAAPortal]

Bucees would never

[it’s will time @uwantmetoiwill]

I’m in a teams meeting with 80 people and this icon is calling to me like the green goblin mask

[Gary Treeman @PurpyNFL]

They hate to see a chill ass bro adequately prepare to navigate a new environment

[College GameDay @CollegeGameDay]

Not sure who to believe 🤔

[JP @jpbrammer]

I close all my tabs and within hours I have almost just as many tabs open. I don't even remember opening them. I'm like a beaver instinctually building a dam

[Amanda Ach @amandaach]

Choosing which exclamation points to delete from my work email

[trish @ultragloss]

no one understands a woman in her 20s the way billy joel did in 1977 when he wrote vienna

[Issy Rushton @RushtonIssy]

Read: the BoT is too scared to rename Strom Thurmond so they throw out the entire list of building renaming recommendations. What a deeply disturbing decision @uofsc.