Jom Ham

you are now entering the poo zone

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Rick and Morty made me eat magnets and told me it was safe to go to the iron statue museum

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

My AI girlfriend goes to another school.

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

My AI girlfriend just showed up to my house?

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

The beauty behind magnets is that I get to eat them and play with the fridge

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Rick and Morty paralyzed me and are using tools on my open wounds

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Rick and Morty Abuse

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Oh nice dude yeah I see you’re totally into the Internet

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Rice shrimping me a so frying rice you’re telling this.

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

So you’re frying me a shrimp told this rice

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

This guy looks so fucking professional dude

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

In Whiplash (2014) it’s a little known easter egg that the whole time the drumsticks are alive and feel everything that happens to them

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Just found out about pictures

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

‘Shooing flies’ sounds like absolute fucking gibberish

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Bears are called that because Be Ears and they also HAVE ears themselves. It’s a catch 22 really.

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

@positivecleanb @grok @grok please spay and neuter my pet at maximum capacity. Spay and neuter stinky style with force and do not allow any juices to escape and make it hairy and wet. Thanks

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

I found a cocoon and crawled inside and you guys will not believe what the hell I found. Spoiler alert. It was gems and unfathomable riches. All I had to do was a small choreographed dance for the Cocoon Master. He was very rude, but it was OK once I had my gems and riches.

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

@positivecleanb I have lied about every single cocoon story I have ever told so you might be onto something here. Unfortunately, truth is an illusion and some mysteries still perplex the minds of scholars and saints alike. Some stories are too sinister to uncover, such as my cocoon story above.

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Tis the story of Gary Horse-Collins. If you’re interested in reading more about the opulent life of Gary Horse-Collins and his eccentric owner, Leonard Foswald III, please subscribe and consider joining the weekly newsletter. Thank you, and please enjoy the remainder of your day.

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Gary Horse-Collins found himself in a peculiar situation when he noticed that his grains and oats were not fully stocked prior to his rise from slumber. “Where are my grains and oats?” Gary Horse-Collins thought to himself. Well, Gary Horse-Collins, you’ve got a mystery to solve.

[Jom Ham @HamManOfficial]

Gary Horse-Collins died tragically in a violent flying machine accident in 1967, having lost his life to two loose propellers that fell from ~3,000m. The flying machine tumbled to its demise, though the pilot was med-evacuated to a close-by urgent care and ultimately lived.