goose

[goose @Ham_bergur]

Stop letting btches wit no dad tell you what a real man is. They don’t know sh*t💯

[goose @Ham_bergur]

A homeless dude will look at you dead in the eyes through 5% tint

[goose @Ham_bergur]

Them kids ask you 4 times what they finna eat you still twerkin 😑

[goose @Ham_bergur]

Btches be partying 90% of their pregnancy and wonder why their baby crying at 3AM, btch be wanna go downtown😭😭😭😭

[goose @Ham_bergur]

When you high listening to music you hear everything. Like damn who Tf on tha violin😭

[goose @Ham_bergur]

I hate bitches who put dey whole stomach in dey leggings bitch you is not a kangaroo😂😂😂

[goose @Ham_bergur]

Bitches get one outfit from P.I.N.K and wear it until it S.T.I.N.K🫨😂😂

[goose @Ham_bergur]

I cracked a joke with my therapist and she sighed and started writing in her notebook

Bitch is tryna steal my joke😡

[goose @Ham_bergur]

💁🏿‍♂️My biggest fear is👫
catching my girl 👩‍❤️‍👨
cheating… 🤼🤼
And the nigga beat me up
👊🏿🙎🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️

[goose @Ham_bergur]

If you use
- Megaknight
- Witch
- Firecracker
- Dart goblin
- Hog rider
You deserve the death penalty for being shit at the game

[goose @Ham_bergur]

People ask “do you let your dog in the room during sex?” Well how else am I gonna fuck it?🤨

[goose @Ham_bergur]

They tryna put me in a psych ward the way I straight jack it💯

[goose @Ham_bergur]

The sleigh has crashed near Bulgaria
He’s dead

[goose @Ham_bergur]

The best part of handwashing dishes is jerking off the silverware

[goose @Ham_bergur]

(Completely missing the area to feel someone’s pulse) He’s dead

[goose @Ham_bergur]

You👏don’t👏owe👏your👏newborn👏baby👏anything👏

[goose @Ham_bergur]

Don’t bite the hand that fingers you or whatever that saying is

[goose @Ham_bergur]

Music is like music to my ears.

[goose @Ham_bergur]

Just a heads up if I ever act dumb I’m joking. I’m 100% smart and know literally everything.

[goose @Ham_bergur]

Fuck it’s today?????
What’s next?
Tomorrow?????
I can’t do it anymore