Galen

C. Galenus of Pergamon,
brash physician of Rome long gone,
healin' ass in your salon.
Nonquotidian medical tourist,
sailin' thru time by leave of Asclepius.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Honestly, we didn't worry about orcs in the 2nd century. They became much more of a problem during the Middle Ages.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

The male version of the PureWick urine collection system should really be called JohnWick.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Christians:
Instantaneous forgiveness for me
and eternal punishment for thee.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

My spirit animal: probably Homo sapiens.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Antivaxxers: Is misinformation your North Star?

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

This month, I saw my first case of influenza since the Covid pandemic began. Influenza must be tired of the other virus hogging the spotlight.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Not sure why the Fantastic Four aren’t called the Fellowship of the Thing.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

@prolongedQT_ And most of the time, it’s not even a discussion—just a redundant listing of results found elsewhere in the H&P.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

If most of your history of present illness is a discussion of lab findings and radiographic findings, you probably didn’t take much of a history.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

If karma were more reliable:

JOE ROGAN [seeking medical care]: Wait. What do you mean you’re not a doctor? What are you?
ADVISOR: A podcaster with opinions, good sir.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

If the coronavirus sees its shadow in February, we'll get six more weeks of surge.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Does your religious vaccine exemption come packaged with a religious exemption from disease?

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Some hospital discharges are dishonorable.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Checkmate, Pfizer.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

@IDEASOFICE_FIRE, @nerd_cookies

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

@TaylorArmstrong
(I’d include the cat if I knew its Twitter handle.)

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Special spelling for drugs when used for desperate magical purposes:
• hydroxyQAnon
• ivermeQtin

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Ivermectin is 2021’s hydroxychloroquine.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Covid Fucking Q&A

Q not Q: The vaccines were rushed.
A: Nope. mRNA vaccine tech had been in the works for 30 fucking years. Rapid creation of a vaccine candidate is the future happening now, but they still had to run proper trials to test for efficacy and safety, which they did.

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

@EddieMarsAttack Oh, man. IIRC, she got infected just as she got vaccinated. Some with long Covid have improvement in symptoms after vaccination. Did she complete her vaccination series?

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Covid Fucking Q&A

Q not Q: I need to know everything I can about boosters before I’ll consider getting the vaccine.
A: No, you don’t. Do you need to know everything about running shoes before fleeing a tsunami and scramming to higher ground?

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Also, does anybody outside of research labs check influenza antibody levels, or polio antibody levels, or measles antibody levels after vaccination? After you get an appendectomy, do you ask your surgeon to open you up in six months to see if the appendix is really gone?

[Galen @HandofAsclepius]

Covid Fucking Q&A

Q: Don't you want to know your antibody levels?
A: No. My antibody levels are not the sum total of my immune system. It's normal for antibody levels to decline after infection or vaccination, so how will I even interpret a value as normal or desirable?