Handsome J Trump

MPGA! I'm the bigly totally stable genius PANDORA NEEDS!

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

From my book, Jackin Off: How to Make the Handsomest Deals - Rule 45: I'm never wrong. When someone points out a mistake I make, I double down. Losers just whine about truth and facts. Others will believe me because my confidence makes them think my penis is bigger. Also it is.

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

Not even a hiatus can keep a STIFF hyperion MEMBER down for long!

Not even tucking it into the waistband helps!

.....the investigators can tell....

[Handsome Jack's Unofficial Intern @WaterstareHJKR]

@Handsome_Trump I'm so glad this account is back from the grave

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

Holy FUCK blake. Did I not fire you after the last sexual harassment meeting? I'm pretty sure that was an action point in the lawsuIIIIT I TOTALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO SETTLE. NO UH... GRABBING. Didn't happen....

#LockHerUp

[Bill O'Reilly @BillOReilly]

https://t.co/LIpzlj7vKY

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

I'M A MASTER AT WORK! Anyone who's ever read my book, Jackin Off: How to Make the Handsomest Deals can tell you, the best way to WIN a WRASSLIN MATCH is to (JUST HALF) tap out and show your bloated HYPERION ORANGE underbelly! Then no one wants to see the end of the match! #MPGA

[Bill Mitchell @mitchellvii]

You have no idea what you're talking about. Watch and learn the master at work.

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

MAKE. PANDORA. GREAT. AGAIN.

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

Now I know some of you BANDITS out there see this reopening of PANDORA'S GREAT ECONOMY as some kind of DEFEAT! You're WRONG! I'm doing it to pay HYPERION'S TOP WONDERUFL ENGENEERS! They say they need payment for the deterrence field or vladof bounce my check. #buildthewall

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

FAKE NEWS AND FAKE SUPPORT! Just like my daughter's poorly made sports bra!

....

Not that I'd notice.

___

My daughter is hot.

#idhitthat

[Bill Mitchell @mitchellvii]

Yes, you're a fake supporter. Go away and don't come back.

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

THANK GOD someone is preaching the TRUTH out here! Am I right people!?!?! Not once have I EVER collaborated with the great, fine people at VLADOF
КУПИТЬ БОЛЬШЕ ОРЕХОВ

[Bill Mitchell @mitchellvii]

Another indictment.

Again, no #RussianCollusion..

Is Mueller TRYING to convince is there was no Trump/Russia collusion?

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

FAKE NEWS! NAKAYAMA did NOTHING WRONG! the BANDIT MEDIA just wants you to think that he's a godless sociopath who gets sexually aroused at the sight of money!

... That's me. Not him. Goooood I love money.

[Citizens for Ethics @CREWcrew]

Roger Stone was charged with seven counts, including obstruction of official proceedings, making false statements, and witness tampering
https://t.co/8JtuRWXwCr

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

@jauxking One of the greatest and best Hyperion agents I've ever put into the field! He somehow made a wall but let those BANDITS SHOOT MY ASS so many times. MY ASS. Have you SEEN MY ASS? It's too glorious to shoot!

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

@mitchellvii Attaboy! Think in weird angles! Serpentine is the only way to keep things fresh! Those bastard vault-hunter-cucks will never figure it out!

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

AMEN! That's why I only stand for three things: Fine TOP-QUAILITY Hyperion Weaponry, ponies made of the BEST (ONLY THE BEST) diamonds, and big titted space hookers that CAN KEEP THEIR MOUTH SHUT! ... I've been burned on that last one before. #NDA #MPGA #Hyperionforever https://t.co/z8LXS7i0QM

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

Thanks to BANDIT INTERFERENCE, my FABULOUS, AMAZING Hyperion engineers' hands are TIED to stopping VANS, literal VANS, people, of ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS from entering Pandora EVERY DAY! If the Truxicans want to keep their Eridium deal, they'll STEP UP SECURITY! #BuildTheWall #MPGA

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

So funny to see the BANDIT MEDIA attack my FRIEND AND COLLEAGUE, Hunter Hellquist! Just because I tell them what to say makes Hyperion media biased!?!? HILARIOUS! #nobias #fakenews #bffswiththeowners

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

A cabinet as loyal as a prom date is a TRAITOR? #LOCKERUP #mpga

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

I think this describes how I react to ANY hard violence. It's what makes me the GREAT LEADER that I am!

https://t.co/uP7vgC3ZSE https://t.co/WuYlLGpuVH

[+loomhigh @loomhigh]

@Handsome_Trump is it true that if there was a bandit raid, you would rush the bandits by yourself?

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

@loomhigh223555 I WILL VETO anything that doesn't include STRONG TAX REFORM without protection son PVHA'S. But seriously. I'm the best. Why would they not do that?

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

Lots of BANDIT rumors about my banning transdgendered people from being Hyperion Engineers... LIES!! WHAT MORON WOULD DO THAT?

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

@loomhigh223555 I COMPLETELY agree that all bandits should apply! In NO WAY what-so-ever will Hyperion be using sign ups as a deportation tool! Especially not that TRAITOR BANDIT WITCH! #DeportThemAll #LockHerUp #MPGA

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

The Miss Pandora Pageant is coming up again this year!!! There's only one girl that I think has the STUFF!! SO GODDAMN HOT!! #MissPandora #Bringyourdaughtertoworkday

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

@loomhigh223555 Lately, not enough.

[Handsome J Trump @Handsome_Trump]

CONGRATS to my esteemed colleague COMRADE VLADOF on his reappointment as CEO of VLADOF! It was a tough fought election against a dead guy and two SCANDALOUS BANDIT TRAITOR SCUM!