I hate my stepson, Braxtley

If the roast stay swole, I'm getting your grandma's hole.
IG: og_hypedad

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Asking the w33d man if he'd still love me if I was a worm.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Happy D-Day to the beers I ambushed last night.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Ok hear me out, carbonated HARD Gatorade 🧐🤌

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Me: girl you're baaaaad
Her: oh you mean like pretty? 🥰💅
Me: nope, like awful

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

There are 2 wolves inside of me, and both of them just wanna browse Costco while sipping canned wine
😈🤌🐺🐺🥫🍷

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs but it's just a triangle with "Getting slopped up at Bennigan's" in it.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

And no it's not because they're buying frozen meat from China, it's because they're big stinky friggin stupid dumb idiots.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

I think the hantavirus is being spread by the people buying bulk meat off Temu.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

The things I would do for a "strong apple" flavored Hell energy drink from Hungary.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Everybody is either a "chump" or "chumpette" there are no exceptions to this rule.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Kegels are wild, you mean you're just flexing that thang in line at the supermarket?

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

"Butternut squash" is by far the most freak-nasty of all the gourds

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

W33d is a plant that gets you high on drugs 😎🤙

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Don't cancel me but last night I couldn't remember the word "Persians" so I said "Middle Eastern Italians" 😬🤌

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Hope every living cyst that films themselves eating "viral trend" food in their car has a fucking awful Easter.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Imagine showing Yogi Bear this picture and he's like "nah bro no way, that's gotta be AI"

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Who's got good tongue (pause) in Passaic County NJ?

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

Researchers in Myanmar conduct groundbreaking experiments by digging a friggin hole and pouring 14 different colored sodas in it then dump 9 packs of Mentos on in there.

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

"But Sheetz has cheeseburgers!" shut the literal frig up ya musty ass slob nobody is trying to get no gas station cheeseburger @Wawa GANG FOR LIFE

[I hate my stepson, Braxtley @HandyCholo]

We're calling the "penjamin", the "jazz calculator" from now on.