hannahes15

there’s so much i wanna say but nah. -Post Malone

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

Does your mind autocorrect and read “rupi kaur” as “whooping cough” or are you normal?

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

I'm the type of person who would be choking on my dinner at a restaurant and tell the person next to me "No rush! Take your time!" so I didn't inconvenience them and make them save my life while their food got cold.

You breathe new life into cold French fries, folks.

[Elijah Smith @EljiahSmith]

dude we get it you got the vaccine

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

Tonight, my heart goes out to all those 93-year-old kids that missed the cutoff for Nat King Cole's offering of that simple "Merry Christmas to you" phrase.

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

“and it didn’t even hurt!” -lady walking out of voting center

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

@FLAGALine sounds like they belong to the Pi Phi Psi Epsilon fraternity at sone major state school and drive around campus in pickup trucks drinking moonshine out of red solo cups while waving around wildly large American Flags from the bed of their vehicle.

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

@j_yeakel @cj_wentz

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

girls really do be like “let me quick show you how to contour”, then go from “step 1: hire a small child to draw on your face with crayons” to “step 2: accept job from vogue” in a matter of 5 seconds.

#contour #MakeupTutorial

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

if you know, you know. #pumpkinszn

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

WILD how some doctors get paid like a kajillion dollars a year to tell people stuff like that they have “functional diarrhea” and “chronic pain syndrome”.

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s fly by like the “LMNOP” in the alphabet song.

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

honestly idk how or why that thought process makes sense but it just does

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

4 am at work is my favorite time cause that means it’s an hour away from 5 am which means it’s an hour away from 6 am which means it’s an hour away from 7 am which means it’s almost time for me to leave !!!

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

Did you hear about the guy who stole that large fruit from the supermarket?

He’s a big waterfelon now.

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

pretty sure I could’ve written taylor swift’s new album, but I don’t know bon iver

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

@EljiahSmith deja vu

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

I’m really just grateful, thankful, blessed for the invention of social media, which is kind of just a platform for people to post other people’s posts (and tag all 589 of their closest friends) in hopes of winning a free bottle of shwanky, vegan, lavender shampoo.

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

Looking for some bedtime lullabies? I hear Beyawncè and Jay-Zzzz are the OG dream team.

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

not gonna lie

for 5 years, I've thought The Weeknd was wearing a football helmet on his "beauty behind the madness" album cover

like what a flex that would be

[hannahes15 @HannahES15]

Anyone ever be looking at an MRI with a doctor and be all like “oh yeah there’s the superior abdominopelvic cavity and my oh my what impressive right-sided acetabular protrusion they have” when really what you’re looking at looks like the sensation of a foot falling asleep ??