Hannah

Former street cat, sharing space with @BigRed_Cat . I'm the smart one.

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Hannah @Hannah_Cat1]

@MAGAVoice What a joke.

[Jessica Meir @Astro_Jessica]

Godspeed, Artemis II!

[Steve Inskeep @NPRinskeep]

As CBS retreats from radio - which 233 million Americans use - NPR remains on and the audience is up.

The main CBS product was a short hourly newscast.

NPR’s hourly news is on your local station - and also available on demand! Hit Play on the NPR app
https://t.co/BuZ5QaBTWM

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

Trump is bragging about working to eliminate fraud. Most of his presidential pardons have been for people convicted of money laundering and fraud to the tune of over $1 billion.

[Wall Street Journal Opinion @WSJopinion]

Trump owes the Supreme Court an apology—to the Justices he smeared on Friday and the institution itself. He doubtless won’t offer one, but his rant in response to his tariff defeat at the Court was arguably the worst moment of his Presidency.
https://t.co/Cke9zoclHG

[Senator Rand Paul @SenRandPaul]

For anyone putting loyalty to a person above loyalty to the Constitution, Justice Gorsuch’s remarks should be required reading. His words are a reminder that our highest duty is to the rule of law and the founding principles that define America.

[Hannah @Hannah_Cat1]

@gregzilla901 @kanstin @GaryleeGray @SciGuySpace But you thought it best not to check them out, rather, decided to bait readers. We see you.

[David Folkenflik @davidfolkenflik]

NPR has created a front-line account of the Jan 6 riot and a public database drawing on thousands of hours of footage and years of reporting:

"The evidence vividly shows the planning for 'revolution' and the brutality of violence."

https://t.co/3qJFP8VKOO

[David J. Bier @David_J_Bier]

The White House officially adopts and publishes the Big Lie on its website. It can’t be overstated: these people are the most dangerous group on Earth to the health and freedom of our republic. Not immigrants, not foreigners, not foreign nations. Them.

[Jonathan McDowell @planet4589]

My annual report, Space Activities in 2025, is now available at https://t.co/DNeQEDQDx4

[Hannah @Hannah_Cat1]

@Sec_Noem How much longer do you think this hysterical gong-banging rabble rousing b.s. is going to work, Madame Secretary? Asking for a country.

[Tom Nichols @RadioFreeTom]

If you want an example of the kind of thing that would constitute an illegal order, here you go

[Peter Baker @peterbakernyt]

Another day, another threat from Trump to prosecute and imprison a former president.

[Tom Nichols @RadioFreeTom]

First thing I thought of when I heard this news today: Shooting the unarmed and helpless survivors of naval attacks is something we’ve seen before, and we prosecuted our enemies for doing it. And now we’re doing it.
This wasn’t even combat, but it would be prohibited even then.

[Hannah @Hannah_Cat1]

So we’re supposed to believe that ERs and physicians and their staffs across the country violated their oaths AND broke the law for years …for what, exactly? The level of absurdity boggles the mind.

[Acyn @Acyn]

Leavitt: If you look at what happened under the Biden administration, real Americans were facing an increase in wait times at hospitals because they were being put last in line and illegal aliens getting that care first

[Hannah @Hannah_Cat1]

@SpeakerJohnson Good to know that somewhere in your oath to uphold the Constitution missed the right of the people “peaceably to assemble” guaranteed by the 1st Amendment. Between this and taking the House out on a paid strike, you are a disgrace.

[Hannah @Hannah_Cat1]

This is me. #FormerStreetCat #VerySmart #VeryCute #SometimesPoopsInCloset

[Hannah @Hannah_Cat1]

The sleeper has awakened. https://t.co/bf906ZevMu

[Hannah @Hannah_Cat1]

@BigRed_Cat @DittmarML Seriously? Three days in a car and now in a cage beneath a pissed off Persian? #DrivingWithCats