Hannah Gutman

These tweets are brought to you by a healthy dose of cynicism with a dash of terrible puns. She/her/hers

[Waiting to Oxtail @ThatDudeMCFLY]

Not gonna lie, I think we need a T-Pain Super Bowl halftime show.

[Betches @betchesluvthis]

I could never be in this box because after two drinks I’d start asking who wants to pay off my student loans #SuperBowl

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

In the past month Taylor Swift has continued a world tour, won her 14th Grammy, announced her 11th new album, and watched her boyfriend play in the Super Bowl and I’ve been “getting ready to dust” for the past two weeks.

[whitney @its_whitney]

me going from couch nap to my actual bed

[Josiah Johnson @KingJosiah54]

Usher after three songs

[Hannah Gutman @Hannahkuh]

@Brigidinthecity Thanks! We’ve wanted to do this for a while so I’m stoked that it’s finally happening ☺️

[Hannah Gutman @Hannahkuh]

Boyfriend and I got the keys to our first place together today! Moving sucks but life is good 😎

[Hannah Gutman @Hannahkuh]

Best part of being sick? My boyfriend saw the thermometer I left on the coffee table and thought it was a pregnancy test 😂

[Hannah Gutman @Hannahkuh]

You know you’re desperately looking for a new place when you catch yourself looking at the backgrounds of pictures people post and wondering where they live and how much they pay for rent. #creeping #needtomove

[Hannah Gutman @Hannahkuh]

I binge watched all of Euphoria yesterday and today and I am not okay. 😳

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Bentley. He came here to tell you that this town is big enough for the two of us. Because he is four inches tall. 12/10

[morgan sung @morgan_sung]

she's a 10 but she gets overstimulated at the supermarket

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

if by “picking up hotties at the club” you mean going to costco for rotisserie chicken then yeah i am

[Noah Verrier @NoahVerrier]

My oil painting of Eggo Waffles

[Half An Onion 🧅 @HalfOnionInABag]

4th of July this year:

[Edgar @LifeOfEdgar]

Don’t get it twisted, if you see me drinking this 4th of July it’s because I love drinking, not this country.

[Hannah Gutman @Hannahkuh]

I was walking down the street with my boyfriend earlier, just joking around and laughing, and this man stopped as we passed and said, “Wow, you look happy!” No sarcasm, no bitterness, just observing. I smiled and said “Thanks!” because he was right. ☺️