Ben

Chuckling into the abyss

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@CombRazor @MantisRe1igiosa @FashyFit I think it was able to be deleted, but I also recall people complaining that they’d deleted it, but it just showed up again once they reconnected to iTunes.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@BigDickBarclay I would be rich!

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

Some years ago a salesman came to our plant and gave a long pitch for a new piece of equipment. Very pricey, but the guy assured us that it was so state of the art it would cut down the time of some of our operations by as much as 50-60%. After an actual demonstration we concluded that it would be helpful, but it would not significantly improve the time for most of our jobs, so we declined. A few years later the same salesman came in to demonstrate the “new model” of that piece of equipment. After his spiel we asked if the had been improvements to some features, and the guy responded “that old unit was a piece of junk” which prompted the question from our manager “in two years will you come in and tell us that this machine is a piece of junk?” He didn’t get what we meant.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@CarmanTse Does Zach Snyder’s Justice League count?

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@Lankychris @KenzieMarieInWA Yeah, at some point we got around to the side (even though they clearly designed the whole thing to limit the ability to see from the side) and you could see that the rims were compressed. From the front you couldn’t really tell at all, even when you knew.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@Mike1967c @Sofia50020Sofia I still remember the last time I paid less than a dollar for a gallon of gas, and it was 1999.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@Sofia50020Sofia 91-95?

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@RebornDoom @CTankie1917 @CaudilloXIV Anticompass strikes again

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

I remember Christmas morning anticipating opening up one of the gifts to find my very own laser tag set up, but alas the wish list for ol Saint Nick must have gotten lost in the mail, and I had to settle for a Photon kit. Worst part I was the only one of my friends to get the Photon.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

One of the biggest, toughest, but also friendliest guys I knew in high school died as a result of a freak accident on a bicycle. His name was Dom. He was riding, along with his girlfriend, on a bike path in a park. There was a fallen branch in the path and he swerved to avoid it, and in doing so bumped into his girlfriend’s bike. This caused his bike to fall and he crashed into an old sign post which broke and impaled him on the inner thigh. It severed his femoral artery. His girlfriend said that he stood up and blood was everywhere and he panicked and tried to run only to collapse a very short distance away. He went into shock and didn’t speak another word. He was very popular and likely had a great future ahead of him, but instead he died right there on that bike path in New Jersey.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

A couple years ago I was at the supermarket waiting in line at the checkout. I had a full cart, and I was third in line. After the person in front of me finished unloading her cart onto the conveyor and I sidled up and began placing my items. I got about half way in and a lady walked up and accused me of cutting in front of her. I was confused because I’d waited behind another two shoppers, with just a polite gap in between each of us. This new lady was never a part of that chain. She insisted that I moved in front of her while she was waiting. The cashier running the register told the lady that I was in line and that is when the chaos broke out. She screamed “are you calling me a liar!?” and grabbed the wrack of gum and candy at her side and started trying to pull it loose. When that didn’t work she just started grabbing the loose stuff from the boxes and flinging it around. She pointed her finger in my face and told me I was evil and wrong. And then she stormed off out of the store. The cashier said that she had done things like this before because she didn’t like to wait in line.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@wakenminds They weren’t trying to get away from the water.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@TheAnnaGat @HistoryBoomer He was completely aware.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

There was a Reddit thread about this question and one guy chimed in with something approximating “I will teach theory, because I have an abundance of theory, but I have very few things to eat. But farmers have a low supply of theory, but an oversupply of food.” It was one of those things that you can’t tell if it was a well structured Poe.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@deux_ex_max @SwannMarcus89 Damn bro, did your parents have any children that lived?

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@AngelicaOung @cglassey_author … so I said “it sounds like you are just feeding sources to the CCP.” And then his daughter started to cry.

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

@LeighThulo63544 @wildreplies Revealed vs stated preferences

[Ben @Hannibal_Solo]

There was a Doors cover band that used to play in a club near where I grew up. The singer did a crazy Morrison impression and it was, usually, a genuinely good show. But the last time I saw them, the dude was so drunk that he couldn’t maintain the impression, and he just stood there and spoke the words of various songs in a New Jersey accent. It’s also entirely possible that he pissed himself.