Hans Schmidt

I can squat and I will continue to squat. When I die, I will need a T-shaped coffin. DAS IST GOOD!!

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

Hans es back in ze Belfast! Es ze ya trick ya! #Backinbelfast

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

@Jimgoldstein45 What's a Jew's ultimate dilemma? .............. Ze free pork #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

What do you do with ze Jew with ze ADHD?

Put him in ze concentration camp #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

After twenty one attempts I've finally won ze longest orgasm contest.

It's been ze long time coming.

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

After ze transfer embargo overturned zat Rangers have bid for Iceland's Bjorn Thorn ... he is number one shelf stacker #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

@rioferdy5 you love ze penis, ze hard ones #HeilHans #random

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

@SkySportsNews Ruddy bad luck for ze John!! #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

If ze Muslim parents use ze Open wide here comes ze airplane technique, do zey just smash it into ze face & make explosive noises? #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

@daxshepard1 What do you prefer about your job? Ze love of ze sheep or zat you are sponsored by ze major hair product?? #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

@themichaelowen Zey lost in ze semi finals and you let zem get away with it???? Zis never would have happened #IfHitlerHadWon #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

iPhone covers are like ze condoms, you don't want to, but you kind of have to #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

Ze mexican and ze black jokes are all ze same now. One you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

It takes some balls to be ze pre-op transexual #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

Feminism is ze belief zat both sexes may become equal by focusing solely on one of zem #FuckingIdiots #EatSchmidt #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

Dora Ze Explorer has got a little Muslim friend called Doda ...... Ze Exploder #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

Apparently towels are ze biggest cause of ze dry skin #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

After I've finished masturbating, I like to sit on my hand for a while so it feels like someone else makes me a sandwich #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

#ThingsThatMakeMeHulkMad Kirsten Stewart. I vant to Hulk Smash her face in #HeilHans

[Hans Schmidt @HansSchmidt50]

Mark Zuckerberg got married to Priscilla Chan. It's nice to know zat despite havin ze billions in ze bank he still shops online #HeilHans

[Jim Goldstein @Jimgoldstein45]

It's National Vegetarian Week it's great to see were dedicating a week to celebrating lesbians #oyvey