Gay Jesus

After three days I rose up from my... Oh who am I kidding if you have a nice beard I'll rise up everyday. Be fabulous!

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@_LocalMedia Practice what you preach... 😇 This post is the same as me saying I don't recommend using the crucifixion as an opportunity to post about my brand. #Wordplay #DoubleMeanings

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@_LocalMedia What would that look like? You have no examples on here. I'd say be authentic in life too.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath That's alright. Nothing is ever truly gone. It'll come back. I did after three days.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath I believe you mean 666 \m/

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath The truth always does.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath My father did enjoy making you. He said he gave you lots of sass and playfulness with a little sexiness and some attitude, which all became your strengths to overcome life and its adversities. We tried to make another one of you, but the machine broke. The world can't handle two.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath The world is a tad bit sadder now. I died for those nudes! Wait that doesn't seem right. I'll have to reread the holy book again tonight while in a warmth bath across from Peter.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath I like when people ask me about the holes in my shirts. first I tell them that they are there so I can put the shirts on and second, I'm glad they stopped asking me about the ones in my hands and feet.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath What are your feelings on standers? You know... People who stand.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@heyyguido I believe I see a pool in the back that I could easily walk over with my magic feet!

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

This is not true. I'm a cocksucker not a cocktail sucker.

[Satan @s8n]

Jesus can turn water into wine because he’s an alcoholic

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

If the human species originated from Africa... Why do we separate ourselves from one another? Aren't we all just Africans with different shades? It's kind of weird to see people pridefully celebrating "who did what first" and "my people" when we're all one people.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath That's true. I stick with the merry men and my apostles walking around.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

I'm not sure if you noticed, but the Queen herself has officially decided to come up to Heaven. Our gates will be wide open for her and we ask at this time if St. Peter could please just let her skip the line to keep things moving. She's a big celebrity up here.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

#Science

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@WhiteJesusLive @GimpVet @EmilyMason1192 @officialHJesus @ProChoiceJesus @JesusImposter

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@WhiteJesusLive @GimpVet @EmilyMason1192 @officialHJesus @ProChoiceJesus @JesusImposter Have you tried convincing the followers to fan you? It worked for me back in the day when I would stand atop a hill and "preach." In reality I wanted the best breeze and people fanning me. That's where the term "fan" came from. You're welcome.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@WhiteJesusLive @GimpVet @EmilyMason1192 @officialHJesus @ProChoiceJesus @JesusImposter Jesus Christ! I told you never when I'm in the bathroom. How's it hanging, my peeps? That can refer to the cross, penis, life, or little piece of food stuck in our beards.

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath This is true. She was praying so I was called in. And by praying I mean she is listing to heavy metal. Which also calls me into the room. Fun facts about your fabulous Gay Jesus!

[Gay Jesus @HappyGayJesus]

@ReneeWrath Would you like me to bring some to you and we can talk about how fabulous we are? *three snaps in a Z-formation*