Yazan Malas

5 yrs public market investing @ Fidelity Started, led and exited D1 Brands Current: Partnered self-funded search to buy an East Coast SMB Business Nerd :)

[Yazan Malas @HappyWiles]

@dougponder This is patently false rubbish. Read a book.

[Yazan Malas @HappyWiles]

@elonmusk You are loved

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Yazan Malas @HappyWiles]

@nicochristie Would love to try

[Trung Phan @TrungTPhan]

James Dyson dropped the tightest 7-minute product launch you’ll ever see and somehow found new ways to innovate a vacuum.

The Dyson PencilVac FluffyCone is:

▫️world’s thinnest vacuum (38mm, 1.8kg)
▫️has special cones so hair doesn’t get stuck (unreal lol)
▫️new design so cleaner head can go right against walls (also up in cupboards and under sofas)
▫️360-degree illumination so you can see all dirt
▫️powerful new motor entirely in handle (with new dispensing system)

I know about this because my wife watches Dyson demo vids like they are Peak Steve Jobs Appe keynotes.

She sent it and said “we are definitely getting this when it’s out” to add to the fan, OG vacuum, hair dryer and air purifier. Ugh.

[Tim Ferriss @tferriss]

“And it dawned on me that I might have to change my inner thought patterns… that I would have to start believing in possibilities that I wouldn’t have allowed before, that I had been closing my creativity down to a very narrow, controllable scale...that things had become too familiar and I might have to disorient myself.”
— ​Bob Dylan

[BOSS @thebeautyofsaas]

One of the best mental exercises you can do for yourself this weekend

[Dylan O'Sullivan @DylanoA4]

C. S. Lewis saying more in one paragraph than many say in whole books

[Benny Johnson @bennyjohnson]

I did not panic. Stayed chill.
Did not sell a single share.
Everything was down bad.
Now it’s ripping green.
Up & down.
That’s the way it always goes.
Losing your mind changes nothing.
There is more to life than money.
Your value is not your bank acct
Your nation is more than GDP

[Sam Parr @thesamparr]

The co-founder of Loom sold his biz for ~$1B, made $50-70M personally, then walked away from an extra $60M

He has “no income right now” and is “looking for internships”...

@vhmth has a wild post-exit story. we talked about it on Moneywise:

-Turned down $60M in retention bonuses that would've vested over 4 years
-Said "the trees spoke to me" during a redwoods hike when deciding whether to stay. He wasn’t joking.
-He had a post go viral about his identity crisis after selling (1.5m views)

So I asked about his money situation now:

-Monthly spend: $25K (with $12K on NYC rent)
-Net worth allocation: 50% cash, 30% equities, 20% bonds/other
-Most expensive post-exit purchase: iPad

Now he’s studying physics 5-8 hours daily, hanging in Discord groups with 18-year-olds who think he's their peer… looking to intern as a mechanical engineer

(can you imagine the founder of a billion-dollar company being your intern?)

On the pod he explains why he’s betting his future on physical products instead of software and investing…

The full episode is live now. Check it out.

[Tim Ferriss @tferriss]

“I have four very simple tenets that I operate by and four tenets that I try and operate our company by. … Love of oneself, love of what you do, love of who you do it with, and love of who you do it for.”
— Richard Taylor

[Nicolas Cole 🚢👻 @Nicolascole77]

The 6 proven first-sentence formulas:

• A moment in time
• A controversial opinion
• A vulnerable statement
• A weird, unique insight
• A strong declarative sentence
• A thought-provoking question

Once your reader sees it, they must keep reading.

[Yazan Malas @HappyWiles]

“We can begin the process of unearthing this divine purpose by asking ourselves the following simple, yet powerful question: what breaks my heart the most?

[Shadow of Ezra @ShadowofEzra]

Donald Trump’s counselor, Alina Habba, calls the Epstein list “deeply disturbing,” warning that it contains shocking names.

She claims many powerful figures were hidden, protected, and never held accountable—but now, they will finally face the court process.

Criminal prosecution will be imminent.

[Liz Wheeler @Liz_Wheeler]

This is the story:

President Trump & AG Pam Bondi committed to releasing the Epstein files.

The FBI was told to deliver the files to Bondi.

They did, about 200 pages.

Bondi smelled a rat, because there was nothing juicy in the 200 pages, just flight logs & a Rolodex of phone numbers. No “smoking gun.”

Still, Bondi promised to release the documents, so she prepared a binder of them.

THEN, last night a whistleblower contacted Bondi & revealed that the SDNY was hiding potentially thousands of Epstein files, defying Bondi’s order to give them all to her.

We’re talking recordings, evidence, etc. The juicy stuff. Names.

These swamp creatures at SDNY deceived Bondi, Kash, and YOU.

Be outraged that the binder is boring. You should be. Because the evil deep state LIED TO YOUR FACE.

The binder is powerful because it’s tangible physical evidence of the disgusting stunt the SDNY tried to pull.

Bondi is now demanding ALL the Epstein evidence from SDNY plus an investigation into the persons who committed this act of defiance.

The legacy media has betrayed you again and again and again. They lie to you. They smear you. They gaslight you. They deserve no special access to realtime exposure of corruption… because they played a role in covering it up in the first place!

You are the media, Elon said. Yes, we are. So celebrate the regular people are being given access to the most powerful people in our country to report on despicable corruption as it’s being uncovered in realtime.

And be very, very angry that deep state agents in the swamp at the SDNY are at this very moment defying President Trump & AG Bondi & you who voted him into office, lying, and hiding the truth about Jeffrey Epstein because they don’t want their own corruption & weaponization of govt exposed.

That’s the story.

[Kash Patel @Kash_Patel]

The FBI is entering a new era—one that will be defined by integrity, accountability, and the unwavering pursuit of justice. There will be no cover-ups, no missing documents, and no stone left unturned — and anyone from the prior or current Bureau who undermines this will be swiftly pursued. If there are gaps, we will find them. If records have been hidden, we will uncover them. And we will bring everything we find to the DOJ to be fully assessed and transparently disseminated to the American people as it should be. The oath we take is to the Constitution, and under my leadership, that promise will be upheld without compromise.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Bravo, @JeffBezos!

[Trung Phan @TrungTPhan]

For Steve Jobs 70th birthday, here is his favourite quote he used to e-mail to Apple:

[Commentary Trump Daily Posts @TrumpDailyPosts]

VIVEK RAMASWAMY is running for Governor of the Great State of Ohio. I know him well, competed against him, and he is something SPECIAL. He’s Young, Strong, and Smart! Vivek is also a very good person, who truly loves our Country. He will be a GREAT Governor of Ohio, will never let you down, and has my COMPLETE AND TOTAL ENDORSEMENT!

Donald Trump Truth Social Post 09:51 PM EST 02/24/25